Thursday, July 10, 2014

l o v e

Hooray! Our "One Year and Beyond" link up is back! I shared the news last week that we just couldn't stay away, but being that it was the holiday I hope you were still able to get the word and write up a post for this week! This topic is definitely one I'm dying to get your ideas on!
Just pretend Eric is holding me like he loves me, bahaha! This one would have been perfect if he wasn't being a picture-hating stinker!
Before we had Mia, I always wondered how people stopped dating their spouse after kids? Eric and I had so much fun together... heck! Every night was like date night (bahaha!) Then we had Mia and I wondered why anyone would want to leave their baby behind on date nights?! Mia just slept the whole time anyway... and I missed her so much when we did leave her! Now that Mia is a year and a half and officially in toddler mode (you won't hear me call her a toddler out loud though, she's still my baby!) I totally get it! Ha ha!
When Mia was born Eric was so giving of his time! When he was home from work he was totally devoted to helping me and the baby any way he could. At some point between sleep deprivation, stresses from nursing, and just plain orneriness, I took his service for granted and started expecting the world from him (my bad!!) We took a step back and reevaluated our relationship and what we needed from each other. We realized that a baby really does change things up as much as everyone said it would, so we had to adapt and figure out a new way to keep growing our love for each other (instead of resenting one another, which we were starting to head down that road) We came to the agreement that we (I) needed to serve one another. Once I stopped expecting everything from Eric and started trying to help him as much as he helped me, we were back on track with each other! Of course it all became easy and natural again once I was out of the newborn/brand new mom/survival mode, but I'm still glad we caught on in the very beginning instead of letting it become a habit.
There is a quote I love by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own lives and our own happiness.” I truly believe that by serving my husband and my daughter, I am a happier "me" and fall more in love with them each day! So the simple solution to keep our spark alive, is to serve each other. Whether it be packing Eric's lunch for work, Eric playing with my hair, and of course it goes into deeper things :) But when we put each other first we find that our marriage thrives more than ever! Oh yeah, and we make it a point to get out and go on dates minus our sweet toddler baby who absolutely doesn't sleep through, or even sit still during those dates ;) 
July 10:  Keeping your marriage alive with a toddler
July 17:  Favorite summer toddler activities
July 24:  Helping Your Toddler to Communicate (Words, emotions, etc.)
July 31:  Dealing with Separation Anxiety
Aug 7:    Car Trip Necessities
Aug 14:  Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions)
Aug 21:  Tricks for eating out with your toddler
Aug 28:  Feeling confident as a mom (How to feel this way, Your struggle with, etc.)


Sarah said...

Such a great quote, so true, I do find myself really happy when I am serving my family and get such great joy out of it.

Heather Leigh_A beautiful ministry said...

*sobbing!! This is beautiful. Love every word and I'm so encouraged. It's so easy to expect things from our spouses when what we really need to do is check ourselves :) This post is one of my favs!

lori said...

i love this post, and this whole series of post ideas... i love that you are so open and honest and just a little ahead of me in this whole parenting thing so you can prepare me a bit for what's to come. cant wait to read the rest!

yes, babies change EVERYTHING. i am currently trying to be realistic with my expectations of greg and focus on enjoying our time together. and im even sort of working on finding a babysitter... which makes me want to clap and cry at the same time. but we need date nights, for real.

Leah @ Everyday Love said...

I love that quote and totally agree about the feeling that serving your husband and child gives you. It's little acts of kindness that go a long way, making both hubs and AG feel loved and special everyday is all that matters!

Anonymous said...

i love the little comment under the picture hahah Too funny!

Colleen Sullivan said...

I did the same thing when Owen was a little baby - I would be home all day with him, in total survival mode, and when Keith came home I would feel like he should take over. Like you said, once the crazy newborn days got easier and we found our grove during the day things got better. Luckily we have patient, kind and loving husbands to put up with us!

Emily said...

service is definitely key. and another big thing, that goes hand in hand with service -- SELFLESSNESS!! the more you think of someone else, and the less you think of yourself, the happier your marriage will be (granted, this has to go both ways). when I hear other people talk about fights, arguments, hard times, etc. with their spouse, it usually boils down to one or both of them being selfish (even if they don't realize it). of course it's important to have your needs taken care of, but it's also important to just forget about yourself sometimes and serve and put others first.

Ashley Brickner said...

Love your perspective, I can feel the love you have for your hubby I'm all your posts!!! Xo

Courtney [Sweet Turtle Soup] said...

I just love this post. It is so true. Honestly those newborn days are rough on a couple, sleep deprivation is ugly. Good to take a step back and refocus. love that quote. Serving! so good

Pink and Fabulous said...

I love that quote and I agree with you completely about dating your husband and what it's like with a child.

Dawn Marie said...

Great post and it's so true! My husband and I used to date all the time but once we had children going out on dates has become non existent. Mainly because I don't have a lot of family and only a few close available friends and I hate to be a burden on others. I'm also very strict with who I leave my kids with and I'm not into trying to find someone I don't know. So when we go on dates the kids usually go with us and every Friday we have a date night in after the kids go to bed. It works for us, but I do realize going on dates where it's just the two of us is so important. I wish it were easier for us to do.

Anonymous said...

Babies def change hubby/wifey time. I'm scared to have two! Bedtime is our only alone time and we usually pass out before even going through our days!

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