Tuesday, February 28, 2012

thoughts on being a mom (someday)

Babysitting 5 boys a couple weeks ago made me sit back and really think about what life would be like as a mom. This was actually our 4th year doing it, so I think about this every year.... what kind of mom will I be? Maybe that's why we still don't have kids yet? Haha!
Will I be a fun mom? I want to take my kids on adventures. I want to really play with my kids. Will I be a good example to my kids? I want to teach them right from wrong. I want them to learn to be honest through my examples. I don't want my kids to think it's ok to swear, because I swear. (I actually don't curse, but sometimes it just slips out, you know? And sometimes it's really funny yet horrifying to hear a child repeat it...) Will I be a patient mom?
What will my kids be like? Even the best kids in the world have their moments.... But will they be happy and active? Or mopey and lazy? I want my kids to be very involved in playing with each other, playing sports, playing instruments, etc. But will they be interested? Will they thank me for the meals I cook them, the laundry that is washed, etc? If they are anything like me, it will happen before and after teenage years ha!
When my kids thank me for dinner, will I smile and say "you're welcome"? Or will I nag at them to hurry up and clean up the dishes? When my kid poops his pants, will I laugh and make the best of the situation? Or will I cry and scold my child? (This totally happened while babysitting, thank goodness Gentri was there and I was able to laugh instead of cry! But that's a story for another time... if you want to know more just ask!) When it's time to teach  my children how to read, will I snap at them because they can't remember how to read a simple word? Or will I be patient and understanding, and help them to learn to love reading? When my kid needs to confide in me, will I point out all the wrong they are doing in the situation and make my kid feel like they can't talk to me? Or will I listen and point my kid in the right direction and be someone they can confide in?
Will I love my babies as much as they need to be loved? Will I be a good mom? I believe that being a mama is the most important role I will ever have in this world! I want to do it right. It is scary to think of all my imperfections... will those affect my abilities to be an awesome mom? I guess I'll find out someday... and until then? I can't wait to have a mini Eric or Courtney :)

59 comments:

Brekke said...

I think about that a lot too! It's hard to imagine what life will be like when that time comes because it will be SO different than life is now!

I think the fact that we think about it and are worried about it means that we'll do okay ;) I hope so at least!

Cami said...

Aww you are so adorable. You will be an amazing, patient, loving mom because you want to be!! <3

I think about this, too...sometimes it scares me...but then I realize that if it's meant to be - it will - and the rest will follow.

Hugs :)

Anonymous said...

I totally get where you are coming from with those thoughts... because I have them too! I guess especially because I know that the idea of parenthood is closer now as an adult than when I was a teen! I just know that I may not be the perfect parent but I will be the best one I can be and will love my children with all my heart :)

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

I worry about all these same things! I have no doubt that you will be an amazing mom. Just the fact that you have these worries shows how much you will care. I know some pretty bad moms sadly, and you are nothing like them. Who knows, someday maybe we'll get to have a playdate!

Evelien said...

Just the fact that you bother thinking about these thinks already prooves that you'll be a great mom :)

Unknown said...

you will be a fantastic mother!

Carlie said...

I think about this stuff a lot too! I'm curious to what kind of personalities our kids will have especially.

I want to know this poop story! haha

Anonymous said...

I think about these things often too. I guess in my mind I think that children are a result of how they are raised. And that they get a pretty good combo of the likes and dislikes of each of you.

And also, who doesn't love a good poop story? :)

jes @ twosmuppies said...

i wonder about these things myself too but i think that when that time comes, all our answers will be answered for us (at 2am, at 4am, and at 6am) :)
-jes

Shannon Page said...

You'll be a great mom someday! I find myself thinking these things all the time too - I'm so worried that I won't be "good" at it. But when it happens for you you'll just know what to do:)

Pamela said...

I think about all of these things, alot, especially lately!! I/We are not fully ready for kids yet, but I am becoming more at ease with the idea, even though it still scares me! You will be a great mother!

Cory and Kylee said...

You will be a great mom! I hope one day to be able to have that title.Like you said its the most important role we will have and I really truly pray that I will be able to fill that roll. Its such a unselfish thing to want. The feelings when you strive to be a mother over come the fears. I guess for me. Dont get me wrong I do have the same fears.. Will I be the mother they need me to be? Will I have the patients with them (cause i dont have any now) but all that kind of is sitting in the back right now and all the little things I can think of right now... is when they fist smile and laugh to when they take their first step to when they bring their homework home and I have no idea what it means.(thank goodness for google) :) You will be a great mom and you will be so kind and loving just the way you are with everyone who comes around you!

Erin said...

I think about this stuff all the time too! Especially after I've held a new baby cousin, or babysat for friends. We'll never know how to parent until we actually ARE parents-- and even then, I definitely think it's a learn as you go :) You'll be a great momma one day!!

= said...

oh my i loved this post and i'll tell you why so many times i hear the exact situations your speaking of. but you know when i see the negative ? is with people that are to young to have children or are just not ready.. they have to adapt.. I think parents are the most happy when they ARE ready.. not made to be ready.. thats just my opinion... you'll be a great mommy "someday"

Natalie said...

You will be a great mommy someday! I'm still not sure what kind of mom I am. I do know that I am more patient than I thought I'd be and that I love my son so much, it is on a level I never knew existed. I also know I am not as selfish as I thought I was, I have given up everything for him and I am completely ok with that.

Keri said...

You will love your kids and you will be their mama...because God will give them to you. :)

You WILL give your kids baggage...you're human and so are they. (This is something I've been coming to terms with lately and it's a hard pill to swallow but being honest about it helps me remember relationship is what matters)

You WILL snap at them when you shouldn't, you may NOT play with them as often as the image in your mind thinks you should, and I can promise you it will go NOTHING like you may be "planning" right now.

But the fact that you are taking the time to ask the questions you are asking now, and thinking about parenting the way you are before you even have children, speaks volumes for the kind of mama you will be. You will love them and they will love you.

Parenting is the HARDEST job but the MOST rewarding and fulfilling.

Melanie said...

I KNOW you will be a FABulous mommy, & Eric will be a wonderful Dad! You guys together will be one bad ace (see I don't swear either, just like to make up "Mel words!").... bad ACE team! We all have trying moments as mothers, but at the end of the day if you have a beautiful, happy, healthy baby, that loves & respects you, everything else will fall into place! Believe me though my friend, you will have days where you find a string of a spaghetti noodle in YO hair! The really bad part about it will be that you had that for dinner 2 nights ago! True story! Hahaahaa....! Really though, being a mommy has never filled my heart w/ SO much love. It really is just the best darn amazing gift there is! I'm gonna shut up now! Love you sweet friend! Xo ~The End~

Rolled Up Pretty said...

You will be the BEST mom!

m&msmommy said...

I can't wait until you have a mini Courtney or Eric either! ;)

This is a great post!

You will be an amazing mommy, I just know it! Perfect? No way! None of us are and trust me, you don't want to try to be! The most humbling experience you will ever have as a parent is the moment you have to apologize to your six year old for you losing your temper unnecessarily! (TRUST ME, I know! :)) But it makes you want to be a better parent, each time you "fail". You'll do your best, your child/children will love you and respect you, and that's all that matters! :)

Val said...

You are going to be an amazing mom.

Michelle said...

Oh I love this. I think about this ALL the time. But then again, I've had baby fever forever. Just the fact that you wonder/worry about these things proves you'll be an awesome mom!

THECAROLINACOUNTRYGIRL said...

It is great for you to think about this before you become a mother. If you are already thinking this then you are on the right track and will be an awesome mother! I love to take my little boy on adventures! Some people say "when you have kids you can't do that anymore". Well, nothing has stopped us yet! We offroad and he has too since he was less than a year old! It sounds like you have a great mindset to become a fantastic mother!

Tiffany said...

I think everyone worries about those things.
You will be a fantastic mom.

Laura Burtis said...

I think about this too! From just this post alone, I think you will be such a fun and good mom! Just the fact that you think about this kind of stuff! And look how fun you are taking them to feed the ducks!
P.s. You guys are so brave babysitting 5 boys!

Joeylee said...

I think everyone worries about it and you'll still worry about it even after you have your kids. You'll be a great mother!!

GRACE said...

awww, great lake pics~

xx,
GRACE <3

Laynah said...

uhh, I'm pretty sure we all know the answers to all of these questions. You will be a great mom Courtney! I'm so excited just thinking about it, but I love that you're being patient and waiting for the right time.

And just look at your new bloggie! It is so freaking cute!

Alyx said...

I think about this stuff all the time. It's sort of terrifying to me because, ya know, we're molding these little human beings into the adults that they will one day become, and that's a lot of frickin' pressure. I'm hoping that I can learn some patience before our mini-mes come along... because I'm not gonna lie - I don't have much of that. :)

oomph. said...

i already know you'll be a wonderful mom. you have so much love to give :)

it's scary to think that we are their #1 teachers. they are watching us constantly, and i do flub up sometimes...eek! and there are also things that are out of our control, but if we give them a good foundation, love and support them unconditionally, chances are they will be able to handle whatever life throws at them.

[oomph.]

Sarah said...

It's amazing how natural it is. No matter what fears you have as soon as that bundle of joy arrives you totally go into "mommy mode" and it's great!

- Sarah
http://agirlintransit.blogspot.com

Kendra L. said...

You will be a great mom. Like others have said, the fact that you ponder about it often and hope to be a good one says a lot. I actually don't like kids very much, so I was terrified when I was pregnant that I would be a terrible mom and not like my children!!!! haha. I can't stress this point enough: It really IS different when they're YOURS (regardless of how they become yours) When they're yours, you will love them more than you could have ever imagined. And that will affect everything you do for them.

two birds said...

what a great post! i am a mom and i still ask myself these questions. i do all of the things you are questioning, it just depends on the day. but i still think i am a good mom and i know i have wonderful kids!

:: ashley :: said...

you'll be a great mother! its amazing how easily some parts come, how difficult others are...but it really is all worth it! my mom always said "if at the end of the day everyone is breathing, you did a good job" sometimes we set crazy high expectations only to set ourselves up for guilt and disappointment, luckily kids are forgiving, and easy to please most days :)

Unknown said...

I think you managed to compose the thoughts that go through all of our heads! I want to be a mom so badly someday, but I'm terrified that I will be an awful one! My mom was so patient and understanding. We were her entire world, and she was incredibly selfless.

I have learned, through helping raise my nephew, that I have a crazy amount of patience with him that I usually don't have with most things. I also am the only one who can calm him down when he gets upset. I just have him pick a storybook, and I tell him that by the time we are finished reading it, that he can't be crying anymore, or it's bedtime/naptime. It works every time.

You will be a wonderful mom. I have no doubt about it. :)

Allison said...

I think about a lot of these things too being a teacher and ALWAYS with kids. Whenever I see a mom with a crazy kid at the grocery store I wonder how I would react. Oh and I love your blog's new look. :)

Laurie @ Stylin Savanna said...

Girl everyone has imperfections. Nobody is perfect. Being a mother really does come naturally to most. I got pregnant SO young but it ended up working out amazing for me. I have no regrets and I'm very happy to be a mom to the most awesome 8 year old boy!

Aimee L said...

Awww, this is such a cute post!!

I have to agree that I think about this very often also...I am kind of terrified to become a mom but know it will happen for me one of these days {or at least hope it will}.

Following :)

Unknown said...

omg you read my mind! I think about these things all the time. I want to have a child when the time is right and when we can be excited because this joy is coming into this world.

I also worry so much that I wont be able to have children. I know so many women who suffer from this daily and it scares me to no end.

Alexis Kaye said...

The great thing is you get to decide how you will be :) It takes work obviously, but you decide in the end! Now have a baby already!

Allyson said...

You will be an awesome momma! :)

Maca said...

You speak the truth! I thing about this all the time. My husband and I feel we are not ready for that step yet but we talk about the things we'll do and teach them and we finally have kids!
Also, thanks for stopping by my blog! I love that your brother went to Chile and hopefully he liked it! I love it and it is such an amazing place. I hope his mission went well!

kyna... said...

Awe sweetie..the 40 other commenters before me all said it perfectly...you are going to be an amazing mom! I can just tell! You have a heart of gold, and you guys will have the absolute best kids! (They'll be good looking too!) No one is the perfect mother, but you are so loving and thoughtful and that will go far in your kids' lives. Don't rush it...wait till you are ready, but when you do, be prepared for the most amazing time of your life! With the awesome and strong relationship that you and Eric have, you will have nothing but great love in your house for your kids! :-)
♥ Kyna

Julie said...

I think some of those same thoughts. I wanna be the fun, cool mom who kids respect and know they can be themselves around but have to follow rules. Guess we'll see one day!

Leah said...

Oh my gosh I love this post!! I want to be a mom so bad and am ready (first I need to get married, hehe) but I've never sat and thought about each of the things you mentioned in detail. I really like this, you've made me think about these things now too.

Andrea D said...

Thanks for following my blog! I just started it a month ago, so I'm still new to this blogging business and I LOVE when new people visit :)
Plus, I'm so glad you did so that I could find your site! I love the design. And I know the feeling, wondering about what kind of mom you'll be and what your kids will be like. My husband and I are still too young to be bringing babies into the world (we're still just enjoying being newlyweds and new college grads!), but in my mind I'm planning for the future always :)

Andrea
Left brain, right brain, pug brain.

Chrissy + Nate said...

Thanks so much for commenting on my blog! I'll have to check that series out: my husband and I have been researching for a new series to get into! Thanks again!

Emily said...

soooo well written! great post! (babysitting 5 boys? you are amazing!)

Kira said...

I am a mom and I still wonder most of those things myself!

Emma Frances said...

You are going to be a wonderful mom! I don't think any of us really have it down though. At least I know for sure that I will never fully be ready! It will be quite the adventure!!

Kasey Lynne said...

Okay, first of all, I thought I pressed "follow" to you a LONG time ago. LAME.

Second, i love your outfit. Especially your shirt!

And most importantly, I'm sure you're going to be an AMAZING mother someday. You WILL do it right. AND, your kids will be super cute ;)

That Girl said...

I wonder when you stop having those thoughts. I'm sure my mom still wonders about "raising" my brother and I and we're fully grown!

Anonymous said...

I JUST ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS POST!! I have always been around children and can't wait until I have children of my own rather than always just taking care of other peoples children. I hope I am a good mother mostly I hope I teach my children to love God first and foremost. As for your poop in the pants story when I nannied triplets the little girl did that in Michaels and they were at the age where I didn't carry extra clothes anymore so I had to carry her out naked. Oh the joy of children!!

Holly said...

I really like this post, I'm glad to read I'm not the only person who thinks about what kind of mother they will be, and whether they'll be any good at it. :)
Looks like you had fun babysitting! 5 boys! Whoa. :O

Kara said...

This is SUCH a great post!

My hubby and I are trying to make our final decision about kids, but I have the same aniousness about raising children and seriously doubt myself most of the time.

One thing is for sure, kids are defnitely a life changer!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I totally love the idea of having kids and then when I really start to think about it, I always wonder am I already too settled into how I like things and my life. I get very anxious when I think about everything and how life would completely change.

Casey said...

This is SUCH a sweet post that so many people can relate to!! Including myself!

I found this post when Kara from All in a Row{e} linked to for my link up Lots of Link Love.

http://inarowe.blogspot.com/2012/03/lots-of-link-love.html

Lots of Link Love is a biweekly link up inspired to share the love between bloggers and work towards a positive community of fabulous bloggers such as ourselves! ;)

http://www.stresscasey.blogspot.com/2012/03/lots-of-link-love.html

I would love if you shared Lots of Link Love with your readers (there's a button you can share at the end of an unrelated post if you'd like!) and would be overjoyed if you considered linking up with me for the next Lots of Link Love on Thursday, March 22!

Casey
http://www.stresscasey.blogspot.com

cathryn said...

I LOVE this!! I can't wait to be a mom! :)

Stout Family said...

Being a mom really is stressful worrying about all the things you need to be doing right & all the examples you want to be setting. But I think the most important thing is that you try your very best & love those kiddies with all your heart...which is crazy hard not to when they are your very own:)

kandis lake said...

oh my gosh haha i saw these pictures and i was like "i was just at that pond, too!" but now im thinking it's a different pond. but it's definitely in st george. do you live there?
and about this post...i always think the same thing! i think really though when it comes down to it, of course you'll be a good mom! that's what i tell myself. nobody's perfect and EVERYBODY will have their moments, both you and your kids. but as long as you love your kids and you're always striving to do your best, and to show them that you love them, you will be a good mom.
i've learned this from seeing my parents', my older sister's, and my fiance's siblings' experiences with their kids.

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