Friday, October 30, 2015

feature Friday + a giveaway {Balakin &Co}

I try to limit my features/giveaways to just one a week but I accidently double booked this week (what can I say? I'm sleep deprived!) but luckily for all of you, I have TWO giveaways going on this week ;) I'm happy to introduce a brand new shop, Balakin & Co, who offers darling bows, pacifier clips and other accessories! Bow ties are coming to the shop soon! Gotta love a shop who caters to girl AND boy moms!  I love that the bows we were sent make me think of Christmas time (too soon? Not in my opinion!) but can (and will be) worn year 'round!

If you don't have kids of your own but need a baby shower gift, check out Balakin & Co! Be sure to go to my Instagram (find the last photo in this post of Mia in my IG feed) and get entered to win a shop credit AND pacifier clip! Today is the last day to enter, good luck!

 Bows c/o Balakin & Co

Thursday, October 29, 2015

GIVEAWAY {$100 to You! Lingerie}

 Ladies, I have such a treat for you today! If you are pregnant, nursing, or looking to find the perfect gift for someone you know who is pregnant/nursing, this post is for you!! I'm so excited to share my new found love for You! Lingerie PLUS give one of YOU the opportunity to win a $100 gift card to You! Lingerie at the bottom of this post!

When I was pregnant with James I was on the hunt for nursing tanks and/or pajama sets! I didn't buy any of that when I had Mia and I basically didn't get dressed for the first month after she was born, ha ha! Nursing a newborn is awkward to say the least, and I knew that nursing friendly clothing was a must this time around! And let's be honest, comfort is key while healing from child birth AND nursing! You! Lingerie saved the day when I received this adorable pajama set! The nursing tank is just what I NEEDED, and the cute set is what I was HOPING for, because the last thing you feel is "cute" when you're healing and trying to survive the sleep deprivation stage ;) I'm not ashamed to admit that I wear this set all day long, not just when I'm sleeping! So comfy, so cute and gives me easy access for nursing!

Let's get a little more personal here (but not too personal, I promise not to scar your eyes with my new post baby body ;)) Nursing bras. I had a love/hate relationship with them before I discovered You! Lingerie! Love 'em because you really can't nurse without them. But hated them because I couldn't find any cute ones. Again, it's hard to feel cute when you're nursing around the clock and it doesn't help when the only nursing bras you can get your hands on are nude, shapeless, etc. You! Lingerie has gorgeous nursing bras (and panty sets) that are beautiful but also completely functional and comfortable (and let's be real... the husband certainly doesn't mind 'em!) Hello love/love relationship with nursing bras!! Pictured below are a couple of my very favorites! I wish I had had these while nursing Mia and through my pregnancy with James (because ditching that underwire is a great idea with a growing belly, just to make life more comfortable!)

Pajama and Bra/Panty sets c/o You! Lingerie
I really can't say enough good things about You! Lingerie! I love that they offer tasteful, beautiful maternity and nursing undergarment sets and pajama sets! And now for the best part, the giveaway! Enter below to win a $100 gift card to You! Lingerie! Giveaway runs for one week, good luck! xoxo

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

happy 1 month to my little love

And just like that our little James is a month old! I was going to do myI' best to take advantage of his newborn days and soak them up because I know how quickly time passes.... but his first month came and went in the blink of an eye and I'm wishing I had snuggled him more and cleaned less (I'm not sure that would be possible... I really haven't cleaned in the last month thanks to our parents and my amazing husband!!) So I think today is the perfect day to sit in front of the TV (Mia definitely won't mind) and cuddle my babies!!

I've been a major slacker on taking pictures the last week. And I hardly have any of just James, but tons of Mia and James! Time to start taking more pictures of this little boy who is growing too fast!

- James nurses like a champ and has since day one.
- He took to his binky like a champ since the day we gave it to him (2 days old) He loves to have his hands hold it in place and we have photos of him holding it in the hospital. He grabs it and pulls it out of his mouth (on accident) all the time! He is already SO good at grabbing/holding things!
- James is the smiliest sleeper and it absolutely melts my heart! He's slowly starting to give us the tiniest of smiles when we talk to him, mainly in the morning! He also tries real hard to talk and coo at us!
- On October 7th, just 9 days old James rolled from his belly to his back. I thought it was just a fluke but he's done it every day since! When he's done doing tummy time he just rolls over! (He also lost his cord on this day.)
- He's been pretty great during the night since he came home from the hospital. He basically only wakes up twice in the night to eat! He's kept up the same routine this whole month, but we still have rough nights once or twice a week when he wakes up 3 or 4 times, or just doesn't go to sleep for quite awhile after a feeding.
- James HATED the little sponge baths he got before he lost his cord, and he's not especially in love with baths since going in the infant tub, ha ha! And he definitely HATES getting his diaper changed (but is so much happier and relaxed once it's done!)
- He blows bubbles when he's content and it's one of my favorite things!
- The smallest thigh roll has developed in the last week! Mia never had rolls!
- He's also filled out in the face in the last week. So many changes in the last week, he's losing his newborn look :( Baby boy is growing too quickly!
- James LOVES Mia and Eric's voices and totally perks up and searches the room for them when he hears them! 
- The last few nights James has been sleeping (half of the night) in his crib instead of the bassinet in our room! He loves it, and so does Mia! She doesn't wake up to his crying (hallelujah!) I'm nervous how the transition will go once he sleeps all night in the crib, as well as during Mia's nap! They actually nap at the same time (hallelujah!) so I had James sleep in the crib once. Mia's nap was SO short (I'm used to her napping for 3 hours) and I'm guessing it was because she was so excited he was in her room. Hopefully she goes back to sleeping the full 3 hours as she gets used to him sharing her room! 

We can't get enough of our James baby! Life is definitely crazier, especially as we are trying to figure out our new routine (nearly impossible as every day is different with him) but it's also the BEST! Mia has been the most loving, patient big sister and she absolutely adores him! I can't believe that only a month and a day ago we were wondering what he would look like, how are family dynamic would change once he arrived, etc. We are SO grateful for every day since he's been born!! 

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

just some randoms {34}

Coming home from the hospital. I forgot how tiny newborns are!

First bath at home... he hated it ;)

Being spoiled the first week of James' life by Grandma and Granddad Crowley!

Being spoiled the second week of Jame's life by Grandma and Papa Brinkerhoff. Grandparents are the best!

Proud big sister holding baby brother for an HOUR at the hospital. Be still my heart!

Monday, October 26, 2015

love at first sight {Mia & James meet}

Getting James ready to meet his big sister!
She was SO happy to see us, but kept looking past us wanting to see James!
The four of us together for the first time! Finally!!
Gotta poke his eyes first to make sure they are real ;)
 After holding James, Mia wanted to show us her new drawing pad from grandparents. Then she immediately asked Eric to draw a picture of her & James :)
I never would have guessed it after seeing how excited Mia was to meet James... but when she woke up that morning and my mom told her that James was here and tried to show her pictures we had texted, Mia wouldn't have anything to do with it! She didn't want to talk about him, see pictures of him, nothing! But when my parents brought her to the hospital later that morning, Eric met them and brought Mia to our room. I knew she would be excited to see me and I was just as excited to see her! After a huge hug I realized she was looking past us into the room. Big sister was eager to get her eyes on baby brother! I'm pretty sure the pictures do all the talking... it was the sweetest reunion to have my family of FOUR together for the first time! I am so grateful Chrissy from Let Me See You Sparkle Photography was there to capture these precious moments!
After a good visit that morning my parents took Mia home for a nap, then came back when she woke. Mia jumped into bed with me and held James... for the next HOUR! She seriously held him for an hour and anytime we asked if she was done she replied, "No! Don't touch! It's MY baby brudder!" She finally gave him up when the nurse offered her chocolate milk so that she could take his vitals, ha ha! Mia has been the best big sister since day one and I could not be more grateful! My heart is so full... I never could have imagined feeling this much love for my little people!

Friday, October 23, 2015

feature Friday

We have been so fortunate to try some ADORABLE, useful and fun baby products since James was born! I have a lot to share so I thought I would round up a couple of our favorites in a "feature Friday" post! I highly recommend checking out each of these shops for your own babes, or for the perfect baby gift to family/friends! 

Beenie c/o Infanteenie Beenie
 How ADORABLE is this beanie?! One of the first things a baby is introduced to in the hospital is a little beanie to help trap the heat and keep them as warm as possible. The hospital always provides them but guys, it's way more fun to have your own cute and personalized stuff on your babies! Infanteenie Beenie guarantees fit/snug hats that will stay on their tiny (or big, you never know!) heads! We adore James' title as little brother so his beanie couldn't have been a better fit for us! They have the cutest beanie's for precious little boys but I have to admit that I totally die every time I see the beanie's they offer for baby girls! Oh how I wish I'd had one (or five) for Mia when she was born! So if you're on the hunt for a perfect baby beanie, look no further than Infanteenie Beenie

Top Knot Headband, Knot Beanie and Leggings c/o Lamb & Ivy Company
We all know I have a problem... and I'm not afraid to admit it! I'm obsessed with matching my kids! Lamb & Ivy Company has the stinking CUTEST harem leggings (a new obsession of mine!) that you can custom design yourself! I am so happy with my pick of green trim and beanie! Of course we couldn't leave big sister out and had to get a headband to match James! I seriously adore shops who make it possible for boys and girls to match, even in the smallest of ways! Anyway, Lamb & Ivy Company just launched their new Fall line and everyone should check it out, like yesterday!

Soothe Shirt c/o Lalabu
Lalabu knew what was up when they created this soothe shirt! It's a cute top for mom complete with a pouch to carry baby AND a nursing bra... need I say more?! Nope! But I will :) I was a little iffy about this shirt before receiving it but then I couldn't wait to try it out once I got it in the mail! This shirt really is cute and can be worn so many different ways! You'll be seeing it paired under cardigans and jackets all winter long on me! The best part was when I put James in the pouch... he snuggled right up, heaven! And did I mention the nursing bra?! Thank you, Lalabu, for making momma life easier with this amazing soothe shirt!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

introducing our kids to...

I forgot how much I love living in the city (or in our case just outside of the city in a beautiful, quiet neighborhood. We get to enjoy the suburb lifestyle but have everything we could need or want just a short drive into the city!) and having things to do! Eric mentioned a few weeks ago that the Boston Bruins were going to be in town. We used to go to hockey games all the time when we lived in northern Utah, but we were a little bit wishy washy on whether we wanted to take the kids or not. I finally decided a couple days before the game that it would be worth it to take the kids, especially since this is Eric's "team" (I mean, he is a New England fan even though the Red Sox take the #1 spot in his heart ;) ha ha!) and boy are we glad we went!
I forgot the rush of adrenaline you get just as the game is about to start, the loud music, the energetic fans... it's all so fun! Throw in some good food, fights, loud music (plus a win from our team) and we've got the funnest family date night :) The kids seriously did amazing, especially considering the game didn't even start until Mia's bedtime, and it felt so good to get out of the house with my people! There will definitely be more hockey nights in the near future :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2015


Is there a way to freeze time? Because I suddenly realized just how close Mia is to turning 3 (2 more months... how is that possible?!) I'm both excited and terrified for what's to come as Mia continues to grow! That "threenager" business is the real deal, and she's not even 3 yet... heaven help us, ha ha!

- Mia is a BIG SISTER now! And she's so proud of her new title! She has handled the transition SO well so far and my momma heart couldn't be more proud! Mia loves telling everyone that she's a big sister :)
- I've really noticed a huge jump in Mia's vocabulary and the way she carries on conversations. It's so weird to think that we ever had a hard time communicating! She sounds way too grown up with how she talks, jokes/teases, communicates! 
- She got her last molar, finally! Those 2 year molars were beastly!! Just in time for baby brother to start the teething process, ha ha!
- Mia has officially hit the "I don't like...." stage. "I don't LIKE showers!" (She loves showers) "I don't LIKE eating at home!" "I don't LIKE bweakfast/wunch/deener!" "No mommy, I don't LIKE dat!" One second she will tell me she "lubs" something and the next she changed her mind and doesn't like it. Good grief, ha!  
- She has also turned into the worst eater and that is going to drive absolutely batty!! Mia has always been a champ when it comes to eating food and has never been picky! Aside from not liking one or two things, it's always been very easy to feed her. Over the last few months though she has grown more picky, takes FOREVER to eat, etc. Meal times have turned into the biggest fights and it's kind of a nightmare. I can't wait for this phase to pass!
- Mia is obsessed with singing and we can't get enough of it! 
- She's the best little helper! She loves to clean, fetches whatever we need when we ask her to, etc. She takes pride in being our helper! I hope this phase never passes ;)
- Baby brother got her a strider bike when we brought him home from the hospital (why yes, we were trying to bribe her to like him! but of course we didn't need to try. she has loved him from day one!) and she is fearless on that thing! She loves it so much and now I'm excited to see her on a bike with pedals (hopefully after her birthday or Christmas!)
- She still mainly wears size 2T clothing but wears anything ranging from 12 month - 3T depending on the brand/sizing. She's in size 6 shoes but it's looking like it's time to size up to a 7! 
- Even though she still fits in size 5 diapers, we've moved her up to size 6 (to avoid buying 2 different sizes because she wears a 6 during the night) I've officially set the deadline for diapers! We start potty training mid-end November!

We can hardly remember what life was like without Mia, and now that James has joined the family we are even more grateful for our kids! So much love for our Mia girl!!     

Monday, October 19, 2015

baby James- a birth story {pt 3}

The nurse returned just minutes after my doctor left and she stayed in the room with us to help me through the contractions, bless her! I felt her pressing on my belly, pressure points I'm assuming, as she encouraged me and told me how great I was doing through the contractions. The pain continued to increase and I was losing relief in between contractions as the pressure was building down there. I felt pressure when it was time to push with Mia, but no pain because of my epidural. It was shocking to feel pain with the pressure, ugh, I was so miserable! I started to tell my nurse about the pressure I was feeling when I suddenly developed the shakes, but a severe case of the shakes (severe in my opinion, ha ha! I had the shakes with Mia but they just felt like small tremors and my teeth chattered a little bit.) My hands crippled/seized up and I went into a major panic about that! "Look at my hands! Oh my gosh, why are they doing this?! I can't straighten my fingers! Are they going to be stuck like this forever?!" I can't remember what she was saying to me but I do remember Eric trying to straighten my fingers out. I don't know if he thought I was doing it on purpose, or if he was just trying to help me calm the heck down by straightening them (but they would just cripple back up. It was the weirdest thing!) My blood pressure cuff tried to take my blood pressure but my arm was so tense that the cuff wouldn't loosen because it couldn't get a read on me. My nurse asked me to relax so that it could take my blood pressure and loosen up as I was crying to her that I thought my arm might fall off between the pressure of the cuff and my crippled hands, ha ha (but it wasn't funny in the moment, I was stressing out!) I told her I didn't know how to relax... I had no idea what my body was doing and I couldn't control it! Next thing I knew she was pulling out the oxygen and asking if I could hold it to my mouth or if she should strap it to my head. I couldn't move my arms so she strapped it to my head, asked if I needed an extra blanket (that's when I realized how hard my teeth were chattering, but I wasn't cold! I was over heated it felt like) and explained that even though my doctor had just checked me, she would check me. Just then the anesthesiologist came in. I saw him darting around the room for a minute while explaining that he was going to try another medicine, and if that didn't work then he would redo my epidural. The nurse checked me at the same time when she jumped up and said, "DON'T PUSH with your contractions! You are at a 10! I need to go call the doctor and see what he wants to do! Again, DON'T PUSH while I'm gone!" And just like that, the room cleared and it was just Eric, me and the pain alone together again. (That all happened in just a couple minutes of my body going into shock, or whatever you want to call it, it happened so quickly!) 

 This was after everything settled down. We were all relaxing, which meant TV for Eric, ha ha!
I felt a weird sense of validation as Eric and I checked the time and realized that in just 20 minutes my body had progressed from a 6 to a 10 with no epidural. I finally had an explanation for the world of hurt I was feeling (as if I needed an explanation, I was in labor for crying out loud! I later remembered that I was on pitocin, another reason for the extreme pain when I was only at a 6.) but it also makes me frustrated to think about the big, fat epidural bill that's coming my way... it totally let me down... is there a discount for that?! ha ha! My nurse came back awhile later to a new patient! The medicine had kicked in and I was pain free again, my hands had relaxed and my shakes were back down to a minimum. I was laughing and joking when she came back and I could see the surprise on her face- I'm a pleasant person to be around when I'm not in pain ;) She told me that the doctor wanted to have me "labor down" and hold off from pushing for awhile. Even though I was at a 10, the baby was still high up (common when a version has been performed) and he wanted the baby to come down lower on his own so that I didn't exhaust myself from pushing. I ended up "laboring down" for two more hours, which was annoying because I thought it was go time, but I was able to get some much needed sleep in that time! 

Side note: I was extremely disappointed to see that I had missed dinner. The kitchen closed at 7 and that was when I received the news that it wasn't time to push yet. I made a plan with the nurse that she would bring me a fruit plate when I finally delivered and Eric would go get take out. I was STARVING and much of my conversation that day revolved around food, ha ha! 

At 9PM my doctor finally came in and told me it was time to push! I could feel pressure from the contractions but it was harder for me to push this time around! First of all, I forgot just how hard it is to push a baby out- such hard work!! But I suspect that going from feeling everything to feeling nothing but a bit of pressure made it more difficult for me to feel where I needed to push. The doctor and my amazing nurse were super encouraging and helpful with the push process, thank heavens! His head was finally coming out when the doctor told me to stop pushing as he unwrapped the cord from around the baby's neck saying with his Indian accent, "you naughty little boy!" ha ha. I won't ever forget that! I was actually extremely nervous the whole time he was breech that the reason was because of the cord, but Eric said it wasn't tight around his neck at all. Then I felt him slide the rest of the way out (at 9:29PM) and he was finally in my arms! 

James was so quiet as he laid there, like he was taking it all in. He was such a sweet boy, perfect in every way! The nurse took him to clean him up, weigh him, etc. I asked the doctor how long I pushed for and he told me, "oh, probably 5-7 minutes!" I said, "wow, that was the LONGEST 5 minutes of my life!" He laughed at me and explained that I pushed for that little time, but it was probably a half hour in total with waiting time in between contractions. That made so much more sense :) I tore "a little" so the doctor worked on stitching me up while I watched them take care of my baby across the room. Eric was so attentive following them from the scale, to the warming bed and taking lots of pictures with my phone! James weighed 6 lbs 14 oz (Mia weighed 7 lbs) and was 19 3/4 inches long (Mia was 19 1/2 inches). 

They finally brought my baby to me and I got to cuddle him and soak up skin to skin. The room slowly cleared until it was just Eric, me and James (and my fruit plate, bless my nurse!) and we got to enjoy our sweet, wide eyed boy for the next couple of hours. He was so awake and alert and we loved every second of his newness! James Wendell Brinkerhoff was finally here and we couldn't have been happier!

Friday, October 16, 2015

baby burrito {Summer Infant Swaddle Me}

If you ask me, there's nothing quite like a newborn baby burrito! So tiny and snuggly! I love wrapping James up and in a swaddle and watching him instantly relax into his "safe" place! It's obviously very familiar for him and comforting to be swaddled (confined space, ha ha!)
There's also nothing quite like the strength of a newborn AND the learning curve of wrapping that swaddle just right... which is where our love for Summer Infant Swaddle Me comes into play! These swaddles made the transition so much easier on all of us! The Velcro allows us to wrap James up quickly with little chance of him breaking free of the swaddle (because seriously, why do they always wriggle out of the swaddles when they love it so much?!) We have listened to friends swear by these Summer Infant swaddles since we had Mia, and I'm so glad we were finally able to try them out! So is James ;)
Swaddle Blankets c/o Summer Infant Swaddle Me (Similar color scheme here or sport print here)

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Dainty Layers Jewelry {giveaway!}

"The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children."

I have to admit that since becoming a mom, I couldn't love that quote more! But that being said... beautiful jewelry definitely doesn't hurt ;) I am so excited to introduce you all to Dainty Layers Jewelry today! 

Dainty Layers Jewelry is completely made by hand in her Florida studio! Her shop is full of gorgeous, dainty necklaces that are perfect for layering! The set I'm wearing is a hand stamped disc with my initial (I can't wait to add Eric, Mia and James' initials to this necklace!) and a skinny hammered (by hand, of course) bar. She offers gold, rose gold and sterling silver necklaces/sets! I adore mine and highly recommend checking them out!!

Be sure to check out my Instagram for a chance to win this exact necklace set from Dainty Layers Jewelry for yourself!! Good luck, xoxo!

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

pumpkin patching

I am the kind of girl that likes to be on the go and Mia is the same way! Before James was born, we got out of the house almost every single day, even if it was just an hour or so at the gym! What can I say, Mia and I thrive on adventures and being active! That being said, I'm also the kind of girl who believes in soaking up that 6 weeks post baby and letting my body heal! But both Mia and I were going absolutely stir crazy (even though my parents and Eric's parents had been here and taken Mia out on multiple occasions) so I jumped at the opportunity to get out of the house when Eric suggested going to a car show! I couldn't help but google pumpkin patches after seeing so many fun photos on Instagram and discovered that there was one just minutes from our home, and not far from the car show! Thank heavens for Eric who can't say no to his girls ;)
We hit up the car show and didn't stay very long... it definitely wasn't Eric's favorite. But it was so cute to watch Mia walk around holding Eric's hand, patiently looking at the cars (she's much more patient than I am, ha!) and thinking about all the memories Eric will make with Mia and James when it comes to car shows and working on his own Chevelle with them! And I think James' outfit was totally perfect for the occasion ;)
Next we hit up the pumpkin patch and Mia was in heaven! She played in the tractor tire playground, hugged goats (yes, I was horrified but Eric scrubbed her down) and claimed the mini horse in the petting zoo, jumped on some bouncy thing while I fed James (she's obsessed with jumping so that was a life saver to keep her occupied!), went on a little train ride, walked through the corn maze and picked out a pumpkin! She had so much fun and never wanted to leave! Too bad this momma can't hang like she used to... I'm looking forward to the day that I have my strength and energy back ;)

"It's too heaby!!" while grunting and carrying it to us, ha!
Necklace (that she insisted on wearing even though it didn't match, ha!) c/o Love Blooms Here

Mia obviously hated it... ha ha! Saturday was the best family day! Thanks to Eric for making it possible, I definitely wouldn't have made it out of the house without him! I can't wait for many more adventures with my family of FOUR!

Monday, October 12, 2015

baby James- a birth story {pt 2}

Suddenly I felt tingling across my forehead and other weird sensations through my body as they gave me different meds. I could feel my body stabilize as I steadily felt better. When I opened my eyes again my nurse said, "I've never had anyone drop that low, that quickly!" with a nervous laugh. My doctor's reply? "I'm really surprised she didn't throw up!" Thank heavens I didn't throw up... I can only imagine how much worse that would have made things, ha ha! A few minutes later, after making sure I really was stabilized, the room cleared out except for my doctor and two nurses. My doctor got right to work with performing the version to flip baby boy. It felt like he was massaging my belly (so weird to feel that even with my epidural) when I suddenly felt the baby turn (but no pain) and saw the movement through my belly. Weirdest thing ever! My doctor wanted to immediately break my water to help prevent baby from turning back to breech, but I had to be on an antibiotic for 4 hours before he could, so the nurses strapped a girdle to my belly and then the waiting game began.

During those 4 hours I was able to relax and rest my eyes (but I never fully fell asleep which was a bummer), Eric watched TV, paced our room and snuck out for a bite to eat. We were bored out of our minds, ha ha! My doctor came in at 11:30, checked me and I was still at a 3 (depressing!) then broke my water. I asked him how much longer he thought this would take because I REALLY wanted lunch. "Do you want something to eat?!" he asked. "No way! Can I have something to eat?!" He totally got my hopes up for a split second until he said, "well, probably not..." ha ha. WHAT THE HECK, MAN?! My nurse smacked him for me ;) But then he asked me if I wanted any apple juice and normally I wouldn't want that, but I was starving so it actually sounded amazing! I told him no though, because I thought that would be the right answer, ha ha. He explained that the glucose might feed my muscles a bit and help speed up delivery when the time came and told my nurse to get me some juice, otter pops if they had them or jello, then he left. I have to write this all out because that conversation lasted less than 2 minutes but I can't even tell you how heavenly that juice and jello was, ha ha! It totally made life happier for a couple hours for me ;) As soon as he walked out of the room I suddenly felt a ton of fluid gush out. Disgusting, I know! But for those few minutes after he broke my water, nothing really happened. My poor nurse... the fluid just kept coming! We were SHOCKED! But she said it totally explained why he was able to turn so much at 39 weeks "he was probably doing backstrokes in there!" she joked. She also referred to his "Olympic size pool" awhile later... It was such a surprise (and really gross) to have that much fluid come out, especially since my belly wasn't measuring any bigger (in fact, the nurses all kept commenting on what a tiny, little belly I had), but it was kind of a relief for me to understand how and why he was still flipping all around in there!

Just as Eric and I were about to lose our minds from boredom, my doctor came back around 3 to check me. I was SO discouraged to learn I had only progressed to a 4. Then he broke the bad news that he probably wasn't going to be able to deliver my baby since he had been at the hospital for 24 hours. Break my heart! (Am I the only one who gets attached to a doctor during all those months of pregnancy? Ha!) He told me he had some paperwork to do so if it was go time before 5, he would come back and deliver! I told my nurse that we had to do something to get the show on the road because 5pm was my new goal to have this baby! I was extremely mobile even with my epidural so she told me to change positions every 20-30 minutes. I alternated from laying on one side, sitting up straight and rocking side to side, then laying on the other side. My epidural ran out during this and my nurse had to change the bag. Shortly after that I started noticing pain with every contraction instead of just the pressure. I let some time pass before calling my nurse to see if the pain would go away but it only got worse. I called her in and she explained that my metabolism was probably burning the epidural off a lot quicker because of how active I was, instead of most women who just lay there (because they are too numb to move) She showed me how to push the button for an extra shot of meds, and told me to let her know if I didn't feel any change after pushing it 3 or 4 times. Oh boy, did I feel change! Not the change I wanted though, the pain became more intense! It was shift change so my previous nurse told me she would send in my new nurse and go find the anesthesiologist. My new nurse came in a few minutes later just as I started to cry during a contraction. I don't know how, but I managed to feel embarrassed through the pain about crying in front of her... what a good first impression I was making, ha ha! But seriously, who cares about first impressions during labor?! She told me she would go find the anesthesiologist and quickly left the room. At this point I was a hot mess, curled up in the fetal position on my side and telling Eric how badly this sucked! I tried squeezing his hand through one contraction, but that brought me no relief and actually hurt him, so that was out. I asked him just to touch my arm through each contraction because it somehow helped to feel the reminder that I wasn't alone in that room through the pain. I was NOT prepared to handle this pain, especially since I had experienced no pain from the very beginning. UGH!

The tears kept flowing as I tried to breath through each contraction and I really couldn't have been a bigger mess! The new doctor (my doctor's partner) came in just then to tell me that my doctor had called to check in at 5 and apologized again for not being able to be there to deliver, introduced himself and who knows what else he said. I basically told him to leave me alone... I couldn't even see straight (my eyes stayed closed as much as possible) let alone talk through the pain... He reminded me to breath through the contraction and told me he was going to check me. If I was at a 10 we would start pushing, if not, he would find the anesthesiologist. I thought I was crushed before when I found out I hadn't progressed much, but when he told me I was only at a 6 I seriously wanted to cry! Oh wait, I was already crying ;) ha ha! I felt so defeated and so... weak! How do people choose to do this natural?! Why was the pain so great to me when I was only at a 6?! Why was a I paying for an epidural when it wasn't doing it's job?! THIS SUCKS! (I never swore once during this process, but "this sucks" came out of my mouth a lot, ha ha!) The doctor told me he would go find the anesthesiologist with an apologetic tone of voice then left the room. He was the third person to tell me that... WHERE WAS THE FREAKIN' ANESTHESIOLOGIST?!

I had to... I had to stop it here! Things got very intense for me after this and there is still a mouthful to share! But I promise that the next segment of James' birth will be the final segment :)

Friday, October 9, 2015

Fall fashion

We had the most glorious Fall day in Arizona a couple days ago. The high was 70 degrees, it stormed, I had the pumpkin candle burning in my house and it just felt perfect! Of course it was short lived and we are back in the 90's now, ha ha! But that didn't stop us from pulling out our FAVORITE Fall outfit from Arden Store... this dress and that little purse?! We are obsessed! Mia even pulls this dress out of the dirty clothes and asks to wear it the very next day (she does this every day until I wash it, ha!) The pockets are probably her favorite feature of all ;) Anyway, every toddler needs this set... in fact, every WOMAN needs this dress! The best news? Arden Store has a similar dress in adult sizes! Guess who was first in line to buy that?! This matchy matchy obsessed momma ;) I seriously couldn't express how much we love our dresses even if I tried... so just take my word for it and check 'em out yourself!