Wednesday, May 2, 2012

little letters {3}

Dear Eric, I am SO sorry that I threw self control out the window on Saturday and threw myself a little big pity party. I didn't mean to make you feel guilty for my homesickness. This move has been hard for the both of us, but you've been SO good to me through it all. I will be better to you, you deserve it! And for the record.... I really am grateful you are still loving this job!

Dear northern Utah friends, I've been missing you guys like crazy in the last week or so. I've been feeling very sorry for myself that I live so far away now, but I should be feeling very grateful that I had the opportunity to make so many GOOD friends! And I am grateful.... I was just wondering if any of you would come visit me already? Gosh dang it! Ha ha.

Dear self, what is going on?? I thought I was making progress... what is with all the pity parties?

Dear life, I am so grateful for all the good that is coming our way. My little family has been so blessed, and we've never been more thankful! But I have a crappy way of showing it. My little stresses and sadness are nothing compared to others! I am so sorry that I've been focusing more on the negative than the positive lately. I will be better! Can I just blame it on the hormones? Maybe?

Dear readers, this post is kind of negative, isn't it? To be honest, my life has been SO great. SO happy! But I am still going through a hard time and I've chosen to let that control me for the past few days. I just realized that I was letting silly little nothings put a damper on my days and that is wrong of me! It's up to me to make the most out of each day and I haven't been putting in any effort to choose happy over sad! I have so much to be grateful for and I'm going to start living my life with that attitude again!
Also, you guys are the BEST! You are always there to give me encouragement and advice, you make our happy moments so fun to celebrate, and I'm just really grateful for all of YOU!

33 comments:

Cindy P said...

I'm sorry that you're going through a rough period again. I've discovered that's just how it works with things that get you down. At least for me. I will have a really hard time with something and then I'll feel better for a little while and then BAM! all the sudden I'm back in pity party/depressed mode and have no idea why.

And though it is better to focus on the positives (it will make life better and happier) I'm glad that you are honest and transparent about your feelings. It's part of why I like your blog so much! You're real and honest and that's very nice. Plus it lets me know that I'm not alone when I have days where I'm just blah. =)

But I hope you cheer up and things get better for you real soon!

Kat said...

It is completely okay to let it out! I've been where I had to be away from my family for long and it was tough! Pity parties galore! It does get better, just hang in there! And it sounds like you have a great attitude to knock the sadness by recognizing all the good things going on! :D

Shauna said...

Change is hard, and it's ok to feel it and let it out. I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason! Hang in there. xxx

{Shauna}
www.ShaunaWyrick.com

Deveny said...

When I was a newlywed, there were some bumps & hiccups due to some negativity and pride after arguing.
Even if you feel like crap & don't want to be somewhere, just slap a smile on (fake or not) and sooner or later your feelings will change. I promise.
I'm now a completely different person then when I was first married. I go with the flow of whatever happens (hey, the Lord knows better right?) and make sure I always apologize quickly, whether or not it was my fault, so there isn't fighting in our house.
It's tough to change attitude but it's totally doable & worth it! :)

thecoffeehouse said...

here i am to give encouragement. you. can. do it. yep, i know you can. and blogging about it is the first step (at least that's my first step). and if you ever need a pitty party friend, i pretty much rock at them.

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

I threw myself a giant pity party last night, so I know where you're at. Hope you feel better!

Pamela said...

It's ok to cry & let it all out every once in a while!! :) Love you!

Holly said...

I think we all go through pity party times (for me, it's always when I'm PMSing lol) and it's frustrating but it happens. It's really OK for you to be upset sometimes!! You will get through this and be happy again, I'm sure!!

C.Curley said...

Sorry you have been in a funk! But I love the attitude you are taking now. Life is completely, 100% out of our control. BUT there are 2 good things... We ARE in control of how we react to the things life throws at us. And we really can choose to be happy. Sometimes it's just harder than others. But most importantly, GOD is in CONTROL, and He is GOOD. So we can rest in knowing that even though we can't decide how our lives turn out, we have someone wonderful and just making those decisions for us. :)

Anonymous said...

you have so many people who comment on here and tell you they love you and a lot of bloggers would give anything for that. be grateful! i've been to cedar city before and it's really not bad enough to ruin your life. from what i've heard some people actually love it there.

JEREMYandCHELSEA said...

Moving is the hardest, I've had to do it my whole life. It's okay to throw a couple of pity parties at least every once in a while.

Shelley said...

Moving really is hard. But you will adjust and make better friends soon!

Elizabeth Justice said...

The first year was really hard moving away from Northern Utah (I am from Sandy btw!) I missed everything! My friends, family, the mountains and silly things like grass, good tasting tap water, Churches on every corner, fry sauce, snow cones.

I would always throw myself those same kid of pity parties too! The more time that has gone by (It is now 5 years since I moved away) the less I miss those little things, and have found that I love where I am at.

I hope it gets better for you and that you find a bunch of wonderful friends in Southern Utah! (I am jealous of all the bloggers down there you can meet up with!)

Shaylynn... I BLAHWG. said...

Hey.. that annonymous comment.. kinda killed me. People are so great, and by great I mean not great at all..

I know a lot of people who have moved to Southern Utah aka Cedar City and have struggled greatly, it is a clicky place.. it just is. And I don't for a second think that you have to adapt to where you live overnight, it's not easy, sometimes we just get lost.. we really just do. you pointed out how grateful you are, which is what matters. Struggle has value, you'll learn from this. and maybe annonymous will realize how unnecessary their comment was.

And as a reader, who loves you.. because I know you.. I know you're trying.. and I know you appreciate your readers. for a crystal clear fact.

P.S. I've moved 17 times in 10 years, it's never easy.

Evelien said...

I think I subconsciously knew you were having a pity party and i joined you!
Let's just get out of that sad spiral and just be happy again, ok?

And moving is exhausting! It's ok to be a emotionally drained after a move..

Laura and Kaden said...

Ah Courtney i completely understand all these little parties i have been having them myself. I have also lived in Cedar for almost 3 years now and am just barely trying to find ways to love it. Horrible i know, i am not the best example for you but i think we should start loving it together. Seriously, i have a great idea and after i go to vegas today and get my phone back i will tell you what it is. I hope you know if you ever need someone to get your stresses out to you can talk to me. I loved that you wrote to Eric about work, because yesterday i told Kaden that i really need to reverse my thinking about the mine and quit complaining to him and be grateful that he has work. I know it really does make it harder on him when i constantly complain about his job and he too really does love it. Oh and i seriously blame everything on hormones so go for it!

Karla said...

Aww I think we should all be allowed a pity party here and there! I hate when that happens to me.. I start nit picking at everything that is wrong with my life and forget about all the amazing things I have. I say have at it stomp your feet .. cry your eyes out but then get right back up and realize that “Every day may not be good.. but there is something good in every day.”

Alyx said...

awww, girl! I hope things get better for you!
Keep your chin up, lady!

LaynahRose said...

Oh my goshhh I can so relate. I was feeling bitter earlier this year when all my friends moved AWAY from me. Now you'll find out which ones were lifelong and which ones were simply there to make a small chunk of your life happier.

Sam said...

Sometimes pity parties are necessary! Hope things keep getting better!

www.samspinkslippers.blogspot.com

lori said...

aw courtney, i wish i could give you a hug... i know EXACTLY how you feel. with our move, it's been an adjustment... some days i love it here and am super productive. other days i mope around all day... it's normal to have a pity party every now and then.

Samantha said...

Pity Parties are the worst parties, because they're the hardest to leave!

Things will clear up soon...they always do :)

Chunny said...

I think you can make it dear. Always think positive. All of this feeling shall pass and you will be happy at the end. =)


http://sassychunny.blogspot.com/

Taylor Grace said...

I threw pity parties when we lived in Kansas about being homesick. Then I convinced Chris to move to Chicago. And now I've found I throw them from time to time here as well. I think its a part of being a girl!

Taylor
www.thedailytay.com

Ashley said...

Dear Courtney ;)

Try not to be so hard on yourself. It's okay to have pity parties once in a while. I did it quite often when we moved from CO to Florida. Moving is hard! Sometimes you have to try extra hard to find those little things to be grateful for. I hit rough patches often for the first... oh probably 7-8 months that we lived here in Florida. It's getting better, but it's still tough sometimes. You can always depend on things to get better though. Adjusting to a move always takes time. Just give it plenty of time, and things will get better.

I am giving you a great big virtual hug now, because I know the feeling! I used to feel lonely, but now I'm learning to gain a greater appreciation for the one who matters most! There is nothing you cannot do with Him by your side. (:

Praying for you girl!

Chelsea said...

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, pretty girl! We need to catch up. I want to know about your ward, and I want to eat donuts with you.

Devon @ TheMermaidChronicles said...

Thanks for the honesty. We all have pouty days, I actually found this post to be very positive. Thanks for sharing! I hope you feel more at home soon.

Sensaatio said...

Hard times suck but they give perspective... hang in there, I'm sure it'll all turn out good, sooner or later :)

In the meanwhile reminding yourself of life's little joys helps... I try to make a list of five things I am happy about every day, sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't!

Jamie - Snow In December said...

Whaaaat? I was freaking out when I read that first part, and omitted the word "control." Um... yeah.. I was thinking, she threw herself out the window??? WHAT!?!?!?

Moving is tough. You are allowed a few pity parties, and some tears too. I just moved (I think you knew that...maybe..?) and I am having a hard time, too. It's never easy. Thankfully you have your awesome man!!

Jamie - Snow In December said...

Whaaaat? I was freaking out when I read that first part, and omitted the word "control." Um... yeah.. I was thinking, she threw herself out the window??? WHAT!?!?!?

Moving is tough. You are allowed a few pity parties, and some tears too. I just moved (I think you knew that...maybe..?) and I am having a hard time, too. It's never easy. Thankfully you have your awesome man!!

That Girl said...

It's okay to throw yourself a pity party every now and again.

Megan said...

I can't imagine moving away from everyone. Don't feel bad...I'd be lonely and homesick, too! And plus, that's what we are here for!!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

It's ok! I totally know what that feels like moving away from everyone you know. Some days there's up days and downs. If you ever get bored you can always email me!

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