Thursday, June 28, 2012

my inappropriate husband

I probably shouldn't share this story publicly, but whatever. Eric totally brought it on himself :)
Eric came with me to my 10 week appointment. We were so excited to finally be able to hear our baby's heartbeat, that's all we could think about! The nurse (I don't know what else to call her) came in and started asking me a mile long list about my pregnancy. Morning sickness? No. Bleeding? No. Head aches? Sometimes. Increased irritability? Eric decides to pipe in with an "Ooooooh yeah!" Thanks for that, babe. Tender breasts? "Mmmhmmm!" The nurse looks at him out of the corner of her eye and you could tell she didn't quite know how to react to that one. I just started laughing because I felt awkward for her! She asked him how he knows?... And he proudly tells her that he's "a married man, duh!" Honestly? How could he not know? I complained about it all the time before I found out I was pregnant :) As the questions continue they are supposed to ask if the baby is for sure Eric's, but instead of asking, they just stated that they knew the baby is Eric's. My brilliant husband thought it was super funny to say, "Well, I guess we'll find out when the baby's born, won't we?!" I was looking for the duct tape at this point. The man needed to be stopped :)
The next thing the nurse tells me is that I was going to have a pap smear... oh joy! She leaves the room so that I can get ready for the procedure and I told Eric how awful this procedure is. I told him that I expected seriously sympathy from him. He reassures me that he will be a loving, sympathetic husband! Right. The doctor comes in and they have me lay down on the table, and Eric sit in a chair that is facing my feet. So he has the same view as the doc, make sense? The doctor puts my feet in the stir ups and then tells me to relax my knees to the side. The same time I grimace and relax my knees, Eric pipes up with an "Oh yeeeeeeah babe. That's PERFECT!" I. wanted. to. die! The nurse had warmed up to Eric at this point and she lost it! She literally threw her head back from laughing so hard! I didn't even look at the doctor for his reaction because, you know, I was dying! Apparantely my inappropriate husband doesn't understand what sympathy means! His excuse? "I was just trying to lighten the mood for ya, babe!" :) I love that man... but next time he comes to a doctor's appointment, I'm definitely bringing the duct tape!
 He looks so innocent...
 The rest of the appointment was joke free and Eric even teared up when we saw baby swimming around during the ultrasound, and heard the heart beat for the first time! Such a good daddy, even though our child will be scarred for life when he/she learns about this story :)

83 comments:

Alana Christine said...

bahahaha. That's hilarious (and embarrassing). Oh the memories you'll have from this experience!

Amanda said...

Hilarious!

Cara said...

Hahaha this is too funny!! I would have been mortified!

Miranda said...

OMG...hilar-e-us. I would have died too though. He has a great sense of humor--love it!

Samantha said...

So funny...I might would have died from embarrassment!

jessicaelle said...

Bahahahaha om my goodness I started crying from laughing while reading this. I would totally bring duct tape next time if I were you hahaha.

Allyson said...

Oh my goodness... This is HILARIOUS! I would have been soooo dramatized. lol

Erin said...

Hahahaha I'm dying for you.

Cortney said...

hahaha! I die! Hilarious.

Brittany said...

Too funny!! He sounds like a character!

courtney said...

hahaha this is great!!!

Liz said...

Bahhahahaha!!!! I. Would. Die.

Kylie said...

Thankfully my husband doesn't say anything in front of the nurses/doctor...but that sounds a whole lot like him otherwise! Oh boy :P

Katrin said...

That's hilarious! And Eric will be the greatest dad!

Courtney*Cakes said...

oh i would have died! So funny though.

Mandy@ a sorta fairytale said...

Oh man, sounds like something my husband would do!! We had similar experiences at the doctors office through both of my pregnancies. Ha ha. At least they keep us entertained, right!? :)

Joeylee said...

LOL that hilarious. Sounds like something my hubby would do!!

Luna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Luna said...

Courtney, you re-tell your husbands humour so well. This is your 2nd blog post today I've laughed out loud to. I'm pretty sure my toddler son is about to wake up soon.

Alyssa said...

Cracking up!!! That is hilarious!

Emma Frances said...

Bahaha! This is HILARIOUS! I want to see a picture of his duct taped mouth next time! ;) Although it did make for a pretty hilarious story so maybe I do want to hear what other funny things he has to say!

kyna... said...

OMG, I am dying laughing!!
♥ Kyna

Jazmine @ Life As A Young Mom said...

LMAO!!!! HORRIBLE!!!

letty said...

Omgeeee!!! How imbarresing BUT totally sounds like my hubby. But got to love them for keeping us laughing and happy xD love,love,love your blog <3!!

Rorie said...

Gahahahah!! I would have died!!!

Chrissy + Nate said...

HAHAHA Oh my goodness- I would have killed him! Gotta love husbands!

Pamela said...

HAHAHAHA! LOVE IT! Keep the stories coming :)

Pamela said...

. . . I def just told B about this & he laughed so hard!!

Deveny said...

HAHAHAHA That is awesome. My husband would love him

Alexis Kaye said...

hahahahhah you probably made the nurses day.

Carlie said...

hahahahaha! I couldn't stop laughing. I was reading this next to Seth, and he asked what was so funny. I told him, and we both got a kick out of it. He says he'll be using that line when we get pregnant and visit the doctor! I think if we ever doubled, we'd get along really well! =)

Shelley said...

lol!! I would have died too!

Vivian said...

I am laughing so hard. Gotta give him credit for his honesty. Believe it or not I think you will need a taste of his "sense of humor" when you are further along in this pregnancy and the discomfort or whatever else goes on kicks in :)

lori said...

hahaha ohhh courtney, eric is so funny. i would die though! i would definitely make my hubs get up and come stand by my head. ha.

Lauren said...

Hahahaha too funny!!!!

Jenn @ PSP said...

Ahhhh oh my goodness, I would have been mortified! I probably turn beet red in the doctor's office for "those visits" anyway. Ha, he does it out of love, I'm sure : )

Mel said...

Oh my gosh....I probably would have died from embarrassment and died from laughing at the same time. That is so hilarious! hrhr...love it!

Nikki said...

OMG that had to be so freaking funny! At least he is a good sport!

Cindy P said...

Oh my goodness!!! I would have died, too if Collin did/does something like that when I'm pregnant! Oh my goodness. Well, on the bright side at least he's being supportive and at least he still enjoys your "stuff". ; )

Jen said...

That is too funny! What a ham! That's very cute that he got teary eyed when it was ultrasound time, though :)

Dee Stephens said...

That's funny.. Brad came to the 10-week appt but left when they did the pap smear. Said, he didn't want or need to be in there for that.
Don't blame him.

Mrs. Robinson said...

These are my FAVORITE kind of stories! :) This is absolutely hilarious. Mr. R & I probably don't want children, but I'm sending him this link anyway. I can totally hear him saying some of the things Eric said!

Brandy said...

That is hilarious!!! baaaahahahaha

Julie said...

That's funny :)

Erin said...

LOL- I feel like my husband will be the exact same way when we get pregnant. Some of the stuff I've just TOLD him about yearly checkin's with the OBGYN freak him out lol... so i can't imagine what stuff he'll say!! ;)

Bethany Scruggs said...

HA!! I can't believe you let him take that seat! I would be like.. Shawn, you're taking a seat beside me mister..

Alycia (Crowley Party) said...

I find it funny that Eric decided not to go into the medical field because of the "women" side of it, and there he was being the inappropriate one! haha Oh man, I would die, and Trevor would die before sitting down in front of me like that, haha.

eryka {from abcde} said...

this just made me laugh sooo hard!!!!

rachel said...

awww!!! this is too cute! i am pretty sure we are married to the same man...if i had a nickle for every time my husband said something totally innapropriate at one of my appointments, i'd have been able to start a college fund...and really embarrasing stuff....like, i think once he made a comment about my OBGYN dancing on a stripper pole...i don't know, it's all a blur. i mean, my OBGYN was adorable, and thank god she had a sense of humor about it but OMG really?? boys. i swear.

H. said...

OH MY GOSH. That is too hilarious! At least he made the awkward situation funny awkward instead of just plain awkward :)

Steph@ Living The Young Life said...

bahahahha this is the funniest thing I have ever heard lol!!!!!!!

twiggy@thedirtlife said...

hahaha. i love it when hunter says this kind of crap to me, it makes me feel like a million bucks, so i would have loved it.

i loved that everyone laughed and had a good time with it! what a great story court!!

from head 2 toe said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is hilarious! I can't believe they really ask if your HUSBAND is the FATHER of your baby?!?! What has the world come too?!!?

Rachael {all things beautiful} said...

OMG- hilarious! This will TOTALLY be my husband when we have children!! Great story.. thanks for sharing :) Happy Friday!

Shalyn said...

Oh my, I would've died but honestly- you gotta love a guy who lightens the mood and then can cry 5 min later;-)

Ariana Nelson said...

OH. MY. GOODNESS. GRACIOUS!!!!! I'm sitting at Panera Bread right now mooching off their free wifi and I burst out laughing in the middle of the 1:30 lunch crowd!!!

I remember my pap smear... I totally made Aaron move to my head. Something about the doctor's office makes me NOT feel sexy!

But for real, I hope you take Eric to all of your appointments, because I want to hear more funny stories!!!!

Ariana Nelson said...

Oh and if my hubby ever says anything like that I'll be in big trouble cause I'll probably pee all over everyone from laughing.

Audrey Allure said...

Aw, funny! :)

laura said...

I think you guys will be amazing parents! Love reading your blog.

Michelle said...

OH. MAH. GAWD. that is hilarious! I'm losing it right now! Wanna know why? BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WOULD DO THE EXACT SAME THING! Seriously! He is as inappropriate as they come at the worst possible times :) Hahaha! I can totally sympathize with you!

tandaschroeder said...

Thank goodness you are married to a man who can make you LAUGH like that! HAHAHA. But at the same time..maybe that's a little much. So funny though. I love it.

♥ xoxo.
we & serendipity

Rachel Elizabeth said...

My husband was always cracking jokes at my appointments when I was pregnant. My nurse ended up loving him by the time our daughter was born.

Chelsea said...

Oh my gosh I am dying of laughter! Sounds like you guys have a fun marriage and he's supportive! I'm sure that nurse is going to be blogging about it ;)
xoxo
Chels

Nessa @{Casa Braaflat} said...

hysterical. best first baby appt story ive heard to date!

Kristen Seuberling said...

Oh man, that is crazy! I don't know what else to say about this, but it's hysterical... so long as it isn't happening to you... right at that moment.

Jessica said...

Oh my gosh Courtney! This made me laugh!! It makes me think of what Zach might do in this situation.

That Girl said...

I think during Labor you should have Eric up by your head ;-)

Brit said...

Hilarious! You have got a keeper. Gotta love a man who can make light of pap smears. They freak my hubbie out, and he cried during the smear ;)

The Johnsons said...

Oh man, that is hilarious!! You are the only one who could laugh in that situation and I love you for it! Haha You're pretty darn adorable and this was the funniest post I have ever read. You two are the best, I can't wait to get home!!

Mikelle Jade {The Honeypie Archives} said...

haha so funny. I only bring Matt to the Ultrasounds! But hey I can't find your email on here since I don't have outlook installed, it won't give me the address. But I'm doing an upcoming post featuring fellow baby bumpers, so if you're interested in participating please contact me!

mikellejade@gmail.com

Shandell Rogers said...

Omg Court that is hilarious I cried laughing so hard reading this! Lyla was laughing at me cuz I was laughing so hard

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

HAHA! I just died laughing. I would have been so red in the face. You are a brave girl. I would never have let him sit down at the feet during the pap. lol

Antoinette said...

This made me laugh so hard Courtney!

Janna Renee said...

OMG. I seriously thing that he and Will would be BFF's. I can see Will saying/doing ALL of these things. PS. the dog is looking at me funny, because I am laughing.

Allison said...

Wow...that's awesome. I'm glad the doctor warmed up to him. Haha.

Kyndra Johnson said...

hahaha that's so funny!!!n LOVE this.

Katie said...

hahaha OMG that is hilarious! Nice that he was just trying to lighten the mood for you. I would have been mortified! ahaha

Amy said...

oh sweet mercy. I am dying laughing at my desk from this story. tooo incredibly funny!!!!

Lin said...

Omg this story was absolutely hilarious! I would have died, you're one strong woman for not beating him right there & then haha.

Shea D. said...

Hilarious! At least SOMEONE can joke about pap smears. ^_^

P! said...

THIS. MAKES. MY. LIFE!! HAHAHAHAHA!! I would have died of embarrassment, but really... totally worth it. You had to write this post, so you can remember it forever... not that you'll ever forget lol! Glad all is healthy and normal! :D

Alisha said...

First of all, congrats on the baby!! That's SO exciting! Second, I'm pretty sure our husbands would get along swimmingly. That's exactly something my hubs would say and do. Hehe here's to the next few doc visits with some duct tape lol.

Happy weekend, sweet girl!

Purposely at Home said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!! TOO. FUNNY. :D It was sweet to hear of him tearing up at the end though. :)

xo
purposelyathome.blogspot.com

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