Tuesday, August 2, 2011

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...right?

I'm gettin' real personal today...as if you haven't had enough of those posts from me lately :)  For the record, this is not a whiny, poor me, life sucked kind of post.  This is how life was for us.  This is/was very real.

1 year ago Eric got a phone call that just really screwed up my future plans/was the blessing we'd been praying for/made me cry more than I ever have in my life/probably saved our sanity and marriage.  Wowzas!  I'm slightly embarrassed that all of those thoughts had gone through my head...at the same time. I was very ungrateful AND so grateful at the same time.  Poor Eric, now you know what kind of wifey he has to deal with...the crazy kind.  Haha.

Let me take you back 1 year and 7 months.  Eric had just lost his job due to the crappy economy.  He is an electrician, a dang good electrician at that.  St George, Utah was the #1 fastest growing city in the country a few years ago but when the economy dumped, all the jobs in St George went with it.  Especially construction work.  There was no way Eric was going to be able to find work as an electrician, and he was too "over qualified" for the jobs that were available.  I honestly believe that high school students had an easier time finding jobs than Eric did, because the employers knew that the students would stay working that job through their school career, and Eric would leave to take the next best job that was offered.  Honestly, this is totally how it works in St George.
Luckily, I had been working at my salon for a couple years and had a pretty established clientale.  We were able to make ends meet with my income but Eric was slowly losing it during these months.  You see, Eric is one of the hardest workers I know.  And he takes his resposibility as provider for our family very seriously.  He was applying for every available job in town, tried to stay busy with side jobs, but each day he was slipping deeper into a depression.  I didn't know how to handle that.  It was so frustrating to me that no matter what I said, I could not cheer him up.  And it was so frustrating to him that I tried to cheer him up.  Haha.  I laugh at how silly that sounds, but at the time, well...we weren't laughing. 
I can see how financial stress can tear a family up, but that's not what affected me and Eric.  Yes, that was incredibly stressful, but the fact that we woke up on a different page each day broke my heart.  How could we have a happy marriage if Eric wasn't happy?  We both just kept praying for the right job to come along.  It took almost 7 months until we got the phone call.  Actually, we got the phone call and Eric turned down the job.  I wasn't willing to move and we certainly weren't going to do the long distance thing.  But school was about to start for Eric and I finally realized there wasn't anything left in St George for us so Eric called them back....a month later...and they had him working the next week.  Wowzas.  Who would've thought they would still have that job waiting for him?The call came on a Thursday.  Eric woke up at 3am to drive north and get all the paper work squared away.  He drove back that night.  Packed and drove back up on Sunday and stayed with his sister for his first week of work.  I cried and cried all weekend long.  It just happened too fast.  Which was actually a good thing.  Remember, I did not want to move, I was never going to leave St George.  And now Eric was leaving me for 5 days at a time.  And I would soon be leaving St George.  I was freaking out.  I remember fretting that Eric would prefer living without me.  Haha how silly.  That man couldn't live without me :)  But that was an honest fear that I had.  It is true though, distance makes the heart grow fonder!
The month of August 2010 was the most stressful month of my life.  You know that saying... when it rains, it pours?  Yeah...I figured out how true that is as well :)  I was on the computer searching for an apartment, then Eric would go look at it after work.  I was trying to line things up with my salon and clients to come down and work one week a month.  I missed Eric, he missed me.  Then came the bills.  In one week we had to pay rent in St George, rent and deposit up north, school, books, 4 new tires, and the list goes on.  Did I mention Eric hadn't worked for about 7 months prior to these bills?  At the time, I didn't know how I was going to make it.  I thought the stress was going to drive me crazy.  Literally.  I wasn't sure if anything was going to work out for us.
Looking back on everything a year later, I can see that everything worked out just how it was supposed to.  I have learned to put my trust in the Lord, He truly does know what is best for us.  And I am so grateful that we did move.  Even though the winters here might kill me, and I dread even thinking about the snow, we have made so many friends that needed to be in our lives.  Eric is so busy with work and school, and has opportunities that he would never have in St George.  And I am incredibly blessed with amazing clients here and in St George.  Most importantly, I know that Eric is the best choice I ever made.  As dramatic as this sounds, I would not have been able to make it through that stressful trial with anyone else but him by my side.  AND!  I will never take a job, or savings for granted EVER again!


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27 comments:

Ashley {hudson's happenings} said...

Awww. Thank you for sharing this Courtney! I'm so happy that y'all made it through your trials...and are more & more in LOVE each day!! xo

Ashley {hudson's happenings} said...

Awww. Thank you for sharing this Courtney! I'm so happy that y'all made it through your trials...and are more & more in LOVE each day!! xo

Shalyn said...

This helps me more than you know. I have tried to keep a good attitude about this move but the truth is, it is killing me. I dont want to leave home but what you said is so true- I am fine if I have my hubby. I think Heavenly Father was teaching you a lesson early so that you didn't have to learn the hard way later. At least I like to think so:-) Thanks for sharing pretty girl!

Megan said...

Wow, Courtney, thanks for being so open and honest with everything! I can't imagine going through that. I would have taken it really hard that I couldn't cheer him up either. I'm so glad that y'all ended up where the Lord wanted y'all and that y'all are still going stronger than ever! I just love you two!!

Alexis Kaye said...

Dang girl! That sounds crazy intense! Even worse for the times he wasn't with you. I had kinda a similar thing earlier this year. I was in the hospital for a week, withdrew from my semester, and was supposed to be getting married in 2 months! Being sick is a lot more expensive than I thought. Missing work, hospital bills, paying an extra year tuition...it was crazy. But now I see our blessings from sticking it through. Even though it sounds silly, in those few months we learned a TON. We literally were not going to make it this year...but then we got grants! And now we can both go to school! :) I just love heavenly father!

Jamie said...

I know exactly what you mean about it being so hard to not be able to cheer hubby up. My husband went through a major back injury three years ago and fell into a depression. I felt so helpless and totally lame for not being able to make him happy. Thankfully God brought us through our rough time, just like He brought you through yours!

Mrs. T said...

You're so right girl!! August 2010 was the most stressful month of my life as well... for so many different reasons... but we made it!! :)

Autumn said...

I totally needed this right now.

My husband and I had to live apart for 10 weeks when we first got married because he needed to be able to secure a job...and I needed to finish student teaching so I could help us pay for the upcoming year of both of us doing our masters.

That teaching job? It never came. I have definitely had a hard time, but now I am realizing with the classes I am taking I should just be working part-time. It's a blessing, but it's hard.

The great thing though? We can do hard things and we can do hard things together. That is what I love about being married.

The Terry's said...

it's crazy how things happen. I'm starting to think there is nothing here for my family either other then school and kam's family.

Tatiana said...

Not having a stable income is one of the most stressful things ever! We've been there just a few months ago, and I thought I was going to have a stomach ulcer from it. I'm so glad that you guys worked things out and that God had found a way to make it all happen :-)

Haley K said...

Oh it definitely sounds like that was a hard time for you guys...but you came out stronger for it!!! You two are an awesome couple who I can tell works hard for your marriage...i absolutely love it :) And i tell ya...my sweetheart has told me numerous times what a burden it is to know that the monetary needs of our family are all on him. What awesome, hard working men we have :) And Courtney you're awesome that you were able to be the sugar momma for a little while ;)

Anyway...you two are an inspirational couple. And depending on and trusting in the Lord is always the way to go :)

.Chelsey. said...

Exactly what I needed to hear, at least the meaning behind it haha. Thanks for sharing girl. You were doing my hair at that time and seriously, you are a strong girl, because I would never have even guessed that much was wrong. You took it with stride, and had faith, and came out even more beautiful than you already were. So thank you for the testimony, and for being you :)

Jennifer said...

That is truly an amazing story! Glad to hear all worked out for you guys. Moving isn't always a bad thing.

Bree said...

Life is stressful, that's forsure. I know how hard it can be looking for a job. I can't even get a retail job right now, I'm guessing for the same reason-overqualified. They know I won't stay. Sigh..

m&msmommy said...

Thank you for sharing this!

I'm sorry that it all happened, but it's amazing to see God's work in even the toughest of situations! :)

Pamela said...

Aww! I'm sorry all of that happened, but I am sure it def did make you two closer/stronger! It seems like everything that could wrong in the past 2 weeks, has gone wrong!! I stress out too easy. I pray, pray, & pray! Sometimes that is all we can do. Oh & I love your shirt in the picture! ha :)

Amanda said...

Thank you for sharing such a personal post! I'm glad you were able to be so strong throughout it all!

Kaycie said...

I'm so impressed by your attitude! I'm in a place that i don't really like and I'm trying to be positive and see the good in being here. I guess it will always be rough, but at least we have our spouses and Heavenly Father on our side. There's always a happy ending, if we're faithful. Thanks so much for sharing!

Ashley Sloan said...

Awe I'm glad you guys made it! Last summer was kind of crazy for us too...we moved for the summer to work and barely barely paid our bills and then my last year at BYU I was working so much! And man then we moved into a ghetto place that actually had horrible electrical work from the 70s and I called the city inspector because I didn't think it was up to code and it wasn't but if I had known you I would have had your husband come out ha. Scary times and glad your doing better now!!!!! :) Ps your post is up!!! :)

Ashley Brooke said...

thanks so much for sharing this! everything happens for a reason, and it's so interesting to look back and see God's plans :)

I also have a giveaway going on at my blog right now if you're interested!

meme-and-he said...

it was so refreshing to read such an honest post! Glad to see how strong your marriage is despite difficult times like that!

P! said...

Your story touches my heart more than you know. You're talking about a situation I know all too well about and can absolutely relate to... I'm just not brave enough to share it with others like you are... yet. One of these days I will. Your strength and love for your hubby amazes me. It's important to remember that your love is the strongest ally you have during times like these. I'm glad you guys were able to overcome it. And maybe some day you will be able to go back to St. George, who knows? God leads us to very unexpected places. Eric, like my husband, has an awesome work ethic and it really is a blessing that they are so eager to provide for us that they will go to such lengths. We're lucky ladies, even in the tough times. LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!!

Randi Gardner said...

not only is this post great, but all the comments are to. You have a way of relating to people and cheering up their day. You're awesome Court.

tifsong said...

sometimes you make my eyes water.

Brittany Lew Whoo said...

i'm so glad you guys made it through! you're such a strong woman.

Antoinette said...

Courtney you are such a beautiful person and your honesty is just sooo refreshing. You had me absolutely hooked and it felt like I was reading a really good book as the story unfolded. I even shed a tear or two. I am sooo pleased that the ending was happy! It's so obvious that you and your hubby have such a strong beautiful marriage and it warms my heart. Isn't Gods work just fabulous!!!?

Mariel Torres said...

This is such a refreshing post... and you two are incredibly cute!

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