Monday, January 19, 2015

the cold, hard truth

It's no secret that I haven't loved living in our small town of southern Utah. I was heart broken to leave our friends and the fun we had while living up north! Then Eric's job ended up being extremely demanding with hardly the compensation he (or most of the employees) deserved. Then there started to be drama, as most small towns often entertain, lies and just plain bull crap which made me really hate his job. I had a horrible attitude which put a major strain on our marriage, and it took me a long time to realize that I was causing more problems, on top of everything else Eric was going through :( Sometimes I'm really stubborn, really prideful and really hard headed... which means I often learn lessons the hard way.
I finally decided to suck it up and be the wife that Eric needed me to be- understanding and encouraging. I did my best to hold my tongue when it came to complaining about his job, etc. Our home life improved immensely but Eric's work life continued to spiral downward as he gave them everything he had, and they just kept taking. I/we prayed daily for a change. Eric interviewed multiple times and landed multiple job offers, but nothing ever felt like the right fit. We were frustrated time and time again when there was always one thing about the job offer that wasn't right for us. I knew we were doomed to be here forever, ha ha. To be honest, the town grew on me... we made some really amazing friendships (life long friendships, no doubt!), I took advantage of our close proximity to National Parks and hiked to our hearts content, we really, REALLY love our doctor (wish we could take him with us to AZ!) and of course the blessing of living closer to our families! But being the proud wifey that I am, I believed that Eric deserved the best when it came to work! I know there is crap at any and every job, but there's no way to describe the stuff that Eric had to deal with, and we wanted out!
Then Eric suddenly lost his job. What a shock it was that the company closed their doors with no heads up (we felt like Eric should have had a warning since he was in a management position). Oh, I was mad! Like seeing red, violent feelings, losing sleep kind of mad. Not to mention the fact that I had daydreamed for so long of the day that Eric could march in there and quit because of the "amazing" job offer he received... That would be my pride talkin'! Obviously I needed to be humbled. Looking back, I feel ashamed that my reaction was so horrible, but I was in shock and I still have a lot to learn about handling shock gracefully :) A couple days later, as the anger simmered away, we realized that this was the answer to our prayers... just a totally different answer than we wanted. But we were finally free and the options were endless! I just knew that this was our ticket out of small town, southern Utah!
A week and a half later, Eric was blessed with a job offer (with the most amazing insurance I've ever heard of!) and while I was disappointed that we were staying, I was SO grateful! I have been so positive and supportive, just the wife I should have been from the very beginning and life has been great! But then Eric got a phone call from Arizona, one that he almost had no interest to even call back. We had agreed to always find out every detail before turning something down to avoid the "what ifs" so Eric called them back. Little did we know that this was the phone call that opened all the doors we'd been praying for!
We are feeling so hopeful, positive and excited for this opportunity in Arizona! We are excited to be in a suburb just outside of Phoenix... we've missed living close to a city! We've learned to take advantage of where we live, and we are going to have SO much fun enjoying all that the city has to offer. Plus, you really can't beat being able to swim (outside) year 'round ;) I know that we will encounter less than ideal situations with the job, neighbors, etc- it could be anything, but I learned a hard lesson these past 3 years and I know that I will be able to handle it all so much more gracefully, without pulling everyone around me down, if that makes sense? Looking back on our 3 years in small town, southern Utah, there is a lot I wish I could change, but since I can't, I am grateful for the knowledge I gained from our trials and experiences and I'm excited to take advantage to live a happier, more positive life! I'm so happy that Eric finally has the opportunity he deserves at work, and it will be neat to see him learn, grow and excel even more in his profession! Wish us luck on our new adventure :)

32 comments:

Tawnya Faust said...

Oh Courtney, sounds like you guys have had a rough year... BUT it looks like 2015 is shaping up to be a good one! :) So happy for you guys and the change that is coming for you. I'm sure it will be hard at first but you will all adjust and it will be your new normal! Plus living somewhere warm doesn't hurt ;)

P!nky said...

So, so, so, excited for you lady!!!

I remember the tough moments Eric had with his job and I'm so thankful God opened up a door for all of y'all to be happier. AZ sounds amazing and I can't wait to read more about your journey! <3 you!

She's a big star said...

I love this! We all make mistakes or react to situations in ways we'd like to take back... but the only thing we can do is learn from that and more forward. Onward and upward, my friend! You've learned some lessons that you'll take with you and they'll only make this adventure that much better!

~Dawn~ said...

I'm so so happy for you and your sweet family!! You are going to enjoy Arizona so much and I'm anxious to follow your journey.

Caroline At Windy City Chic said...

So happy for you! This will be great!! I think that you will enjoy being near a city and having more to do. :-)

Chrissy@SimpleJoysBlog said...

Can't wait to read all about your new adventure! Sounds like it truly is a blessing!

Karra said...

God always provides!! So happy for you're new adventures!!

Organized Chaos said...

It can be scary the directions life sends us in without notice! I will be praying for you and your husband and what the future holes! Stay with that positive attitude!

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Wishing you a fabulous new start!

Ashley said...

Wishing you and your family well on your new journey. We actually moved from AZ to TN a couple years back. My husband will be graduating in July and we were thinking about going back to AZ. The only thing we had a hard time was finding close friends. But, with all that being said, there is so much to do and it is beautiful there all year around. We loved the Apache Trail, Bisbee, Camelback Mountain, Cave Creek, Glendale Glitters & Jerome... ahhh... it makes me miss it just talking about it! You will love it! Remember to check out Groupon because that's where the deals are at/where you can experience things you may have never done before - hot air balloon ride, Turf Paradise Horse Racing, places to eat, etc. Oh and you need a realtor, Shelly is AWESOME {https://www.facebook.com/shellysellsaz}

<3 Ash

Claire | Fashion + Feathers said...

Your transparency is very inspiring. It's frustrating when work gets in the way of life but it sounds like you were willing to see the error in your ways and correct them. That can be so difficult. And I'm glad to hear that things will be turning around for you guys... soon!

Ashley said...

Good luck with your new start!

Ali Mills said...

Welcome to AZ!!! ;) You're gonna love it here plus you have like 8 bloggers with kiddos super close to where you're gonna be living! It's gonna be great!

Jessie said...

And that is exactly what life is all about--live, learn, and change! You're awesome for laying it all out for us, being vulnerable in your shortcomings. I appreciate it. Best wishes on your big move! I hope it's all and more of what you've dreamed.

BLovedBoston said...

This is seriously such a wonderful opportunity for you both and it's going to be great not to be in a small town anymore!! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

Sarah said...

Wishing you luck! I know you're going to love it with such a positive attitude going in!

Emily said...

i feel like we've had some very similar experiences the last few years. exciting times for both of us, for sure!! personally, i'll always have a little soft spot in my heart for that little city you're leaving. that's where my mom is from, where my grandma still lives, and where I went to college. it definitely is a beautiful little spot!

Amanda said...

Oh girlfriend. It's soooo hard to not be a negative Nancy sometimes when really, you are trying to defend your husband. It just comes out so wrong. I totally get that. Even though it seems like ya'll had a rough year, it sounds like ya'll have learned so much from it and have really pulled together. Can't wait to hear about all the fabulous adventures AZ brings for you and your family!!!

Sara Elizabeth said...

Love your candidness... and I really love what this next adventure has in store for you guys! Here's hoping it's the best EVER!!!

Courtney [Sweet Turtle Soup] said...

Hard to admit when you are just being stubborn and unhelpful. I've got those same wonderful traits...hard headed and stubborn, yup yup. Life sure does like to teach lessons though. I'm so glad he called back and it worked out so well!

Brettni @ Bringing Up Brumfields said...

Congrats on the new job and move!

Sarita @ it's my girls' world said...

CongrTs on this change! And you are so brave and honest to write such an open post! Xo

Laura Marie Keenan said...

I cannot imagine living in a small town in southern Utah...I hear it is rough! But yay for moving on to more exciting things! Which suburb will you be moving to? I may be able to give you some of our old favorite restaurants & activities if you are going to be anywhere near where we were (Chandler)!

Elizabeth Birenbaum said...

Everything happens for a reason. Whether it be a learning lesson or an opportunity for something better, everything has a purpose. So, SO happy for you guys and cannot wait to hear all about your new adventures in your new home!

Andrea @ The Pineapple Cake said...

Congratulations and good luck in Arizona. It sounds like this is the right opportunity for you and your family, and you are prepared to make the most of your time there. Everything happens for a reason, and in this case that couldn't be more clear.

Ashley @ Words About Waverly said...

Love your honesty, and love even more that you get this new start!!! So excited to follow along! Xo

Brittany said...

I love everything about this. You're so brutally honest about your OWN feelings and reactions to things and it's refreshing to read. I love when bloggers are real about the bad stuff while also posting the genuinely good stuff. This sounds like the perfect fit for your family and I can't wait to read all about your new life in Arizona! Maybe, just maybe we'll have a blogger meet-up when I finally get to AZ?!

Brittany Papke said...

How exciting!!! Well now a play date will be in order! Welcome!

Alisha said...

So excited for you guys. Small town living is HARD. I have found that out quickly. Can't wait to follow this journey with you guys!

tina bumblebee said...

I am so jealous you are moving to a suburb of Phoenix. GIVE ME THAT SUMMER HEAT!!!!!! I love it there so much. And you are so close to Tucson which I SUPER LOVE!!!!! So exciting :)

katetellsstories said...

We move around a lot with Kev being in the Army and each place has a different challenge, but with each move we make amazing friends and memories and appreciate the goodness of that spot. I hope your time in Utah can be looked back at fondly as the stepping stone to something even more amazing. Good luck and congrats!!

sinceibecameamom said...

I love your honesty in this post. I hate when I know better and have to learn the hard way as well. Something I was just thinking about before I read your post. Thanks for blessing me with your story and congrats to you all!:)

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