that time in the hospital...

...that I thought they weren't going to let Mia go home with her C R A Z Y momma! Let me explain the first couple nights of Mia's life. I'll just tell you now, there wasn't a whole lotta sleep involved!

Wednesday night/Thursday morning (December 20th) was when I was admitted to the hospital to be induced. I was so stinkin' excited to finally be having my baby, terrified of labor and incredibly uncomfortable because I was overdue.... so you can imagine how little (or no) sleep I got! I really didn't sleep the whole time I was in labor. Then my sweet angel baby was born and I couldn't sleep that night because HELLO?! I had a baby!! I remember laying in bed all night with butterflies in my tummy, just waiting for my alarm to go off so that I could wake Mia up and feed her (and finally have her in my arms again)! I'm not sure why I didn't just hold her all night? Probably because I knew I needed to get some sleep, but I was way too excited for it! We had visitors all day on Friday so of course I didn't sleep. And Friday night Mia decided she didn't need to sleep. I wish I would have had the nurses hold her so that I could get some sleep, but I didn't want her to develop bad habits (this is where the crazy begins). Eric gave Mia the binky and I freaked out! She didn't need the bink the night before, why does she need it now?! (I really didn't care if she had the bink, I was just going crazy in the head.) I don't really remember what else we did to try and comfort Mia, but I do remember being frustrated because I knew that I should be able to settle her down! I was her mother for crying out loud. But nursing already hurt more than anything I'd ever experienced, and I couldn't just hold her all night because I needed sleep AND she didn't need those bad habits I mentioned earlier. Eric finally gave up trying to reason with me and he just went to sleep. I remember holding my sleeping baby and just being in awe at how perfect she was! And I remember thinking how proud I was for not being "crazy with hormones" (ha ha) and maybe that wouldn't effect me! AS I was thinking that I dissolved into tears.... which ended with me in the bathroom bawling hysterically at 2am.

I don't remember being that hysterical in all of my life! And in the middle of my crazy loud cry fest, the nurse came into our room to check Mia's vitals. And I was so hysterical that I couldn't keep quiet, let alone stop crying. How embarrassing!! I finally calmed down enough to hear her ask what the problem was. Eric just told her that I hadn't really slept in the past 72 hours. I couldn't hear anything else they said so I just hid in the bathroom waiting for the nurse to leave. But she was waiting for me to come out before she would leave... so annoying (ha ha). So I finally came out of the bathroom and shut off all the lights so that she couldn't see my swollen face (and so I didn't have to see her face. I was SO embarrassed!) I almost started crying again because I definitely thought the first thing she'd say was that we couldn't take our baby home because of me (again, ha ha! I was SO crazy)! We talked about my worries and stresses, she offered to take Mia (which I declined. Stupid, stupid!) and then she left so that we could sleep. Eric rubbed my back for a good 45 minutes until I finally started to relax and feel the tension leave my body.

Anytime I share this story I just have to laugh! Obviously I need my sleep! If I could go back and change anything, I would have totally had the nurse take Mia and hold her all night. She needed comfort and I needed sleep. But you know when you're just beyond exhausted that you can't see straight and no one can reason with you? Yeah. Times that by 100 and now you know what poor Eric had to deal with... yikes! My memories of the our stay at the hospital are mostly good, happy ones! But there are a couple that I just have to roll my eyes about :)

Go here to read Mia's birth story. And go here to read another experience I had while we were in the hospital.