Thursday, August 22, 2013

yeah... I went there.

I never thought I'd be doing this, but I'm talking about nursing. Okay, I talked about it before, but at that point in life I was so not right in the head. I would show anyone who had eyes the sores and scabs my devil child angel baby caused and begged them to tell me that wasn't right and that I should just quit... like I said, I wasn't right in the head.
I guess it's breastfeeding awareness month... or so I've heard on FB, Instagram and the news. I'm not the kind of person who feels the need to broadcast to the world that I nurse my baby, or post pictures of it to the social media world, or argue which is right and which is wrong when it comes to feeding my baby publicly. Not that my friends are "that kind of person" either who do actually do these things... did I just stick my foot in my mouth? I fear that I will do that a lot in this post. I don't know why I feel the need to add my "two cents" on this topic, but I truly don't want to offend ANYONE!
I'm just going to throw it out there that I don't see breastfeeding as a beautiful way to bond with my baby. While it's not easy (it's in fact the hardest thing I've ever done. I would say it was even harder than giving birth to Mia, many thanks to that epidural!) it is natural, and it is free. Seriously, the main reason I pushed through the pain was because I didn't want to pay for formula! Nursing is good for babies, but formula is good all the same. I was a formula fed baby and the only complaint I have is that I lost all brain power when I got pregnant! And it hasn't come back. But I'm sure I can't blame that on the formula :) Mia and I both have the attitude that when it comes to nursing we hurry up and "git r done"! At 2 months Mia was nursing for 10 minutes anywhere from 3-5 hours in between. That's my kind of baby! That gave us more time for playing and snuggling which is how I bonded with her. But a lot of babies aren't that way! A lot of moms & babies use nursing to create that bond and snuggle. On the flip side, some moms and babies aren't able to enjoy each other because of nursing! If it's not a right fit, then it's not worth the stress! I guess what I'm trying to say is that ONLY mom and baby know what is best for that pair. No one else can make that decision and no one else has the right to judge! In fact, all mom's understand the pain, frustration, and stresses of feeding your newborn... so that should be reason enough to support and love all moms, even if they are doing things differently than you.
If you haven't noticed, there is quite the controversy going on about nursing in public. Guess what, when a baby's gotta eat, a baby's gotta eat! You can't tell a 3 month old to hold on a little longer until you can get somewhere convenient to feed! I was super envious of the mom's that could whip out a bottle, mix the formula and start feeding their screaming baby. It's not nearly as easy to whip out you-know-what to feed your baby when nursing. It's actually really hard to learn to do that (for both mom and baby)! We went to Disneyland in July and my main stress was feeding Mia. Obviously I wasn't going to run back to the car each time she needed to be fed. So I started practicing feeding with a cover around my friends. It was hard, it was a pain, and it was a fight at times with Mia... but we slowly figured it out. I guess I should throw it out there that I'm a firm believer in using a cover. Or if it's too hot to use a cover, position your clothing so that no one even realizes your nursing. But at the same time, I would NOT give you the stink eye or say something if you were letting it all hang out. I'd be respectful (and mature enough) and just look away. It's really unfortunate that everything is so sexual these days, but it is what it is! I believe that nursing momma's should respect other families (mine included) and sacrifice by covering up. I know it can be done since I do it! And everyone else should respect the mom's that have no choice but to feed their starving baby while out in public.
I guess the main thing I'm trying to say is that we should all respect each other. If the people of our country can't understand the fact babies need to eat whether the milk comes from a bottle or a boob, then they should go stick their head in the toilet and flush. If women can't respect the fact that our country thrives on selling sex, and we can make it a little easier on men and children by using a cover, well, I've got nothing. Because you have to feed your baby, but I believe we could all be a little more respectful with our modesty, even if nursing is natural and so not sexual (just ask the husbands), it still affects all other husbands and children that aren't your own! If the people of our country can't come together respectfully, and stop fighting about something as petty as breastfeeding..... how are we supposed to stand united against the big stuff? The stuff that actually matters? The stuff that effects us in more ways than just scarring our eyes? Am I right? Can I get an amen?! Are we still friends??

35 comments:

PMerr said...

Haha, AMEN! It's ridiculous how big of a stink people put up over feeding a baby. They aren't happy either way! So frustrating!

Pamela said...

Love this!! B wants me to breast feed when we have a kid because he was. It scares me, & I think it would be really uncomfortable ha! I've heard how bad it hurts too! AH!

Heather Leigh @ Adifferent kind of woman said...

Amen to this girl!! I totally feel ya. :)

Holly @ The Grass is Always Greener said...

I'm glad you pushed through it. I nursed both of my babies. The big reason was its free, and I'm too lazy to get up in the middle of the night and mix a bottle. It was nice that a perfectly heated bottle was attached to me already.

Julie said...

I'm in agreement 100% with this post. While I have yet to experience this part of life, I have been around many who have and who have decided on different reasons why they are going to pick how they want to feed their kid. As for in public, get a hooter hider, I had a friend whose kiddo was breast dependent way more than norm and she always had that hider out with her under it.

Cindy said...

I totally agree! I was like you in the beginning with open "wounds" or whatever but I quit. After 10 days and crying through every single feeding, I said I couldn't do it anymore. My husband and everyone I knew was 100% on board with that decision and while I have some regrets, my children are perfectly perfectly healthy and now that they're 2 & 3, no one would ever even know I didn't breastfeed. And the modesty factor you pointed out was spot on. You are so right about "we can make it a little easier on men and children by using a cover"! Well said!

erica @ to the sea said...

This is a great post! Thank you for being so honest and REAL and not giving in to all the pressures to think a certain way about breastfeeding.

Katie said...

I'm not a mom, but I love this post. In the past breastfeeding was not something I would have ever even tried (bc I don't do pain well haha). I use to be that person that would give the stink eye when I saw mom's breastfeeding their babies in public. Apparently I was a naive, young girl. I do agree though that covering up in public is best for all.
That is awesome that even though the pain and scabs you stuck with it. I'm not positive I will be able to do the same. Nice work momma!!!

Amanda said...

Seriously amen.

Lindsey A said...

I was just having a conversation similar to this last weekend with a pregnant friend. Everyone judges everyone for everything. And everyone needs to stop and just support each other for how they decide to do things. No parent is going to parent the same and only you should parent your child. We really need to stop the judging of new moms!

I agree that we should cover up. I'm not a person who is super modest and HAS to cover up, but I KNOW that others are more comfortable if I do, so I do! It's not necessary to make people uncomfortable. When I'm in my own home I do what I want, but when I'm out and about I cover up just to be respectful of others feelings.

And here's your AMEN!

Ashley Smith said...

Beautiful post! I BF for a short while with boy my boys..it drove me crazy so i switched to formula but I agree with pretty much everything you've said!

Dinah Gacon said...

Okay I am going to admit that I am planning on breastfeeding and I am terrified. Terrified of the pain and if our lil one doesn't latch on well. Have you ever pumped and stored milk in bottles for Mia? I am thinking of doing that. I want my baby to get all the nutrition and want to avoid paying for formula if at all possible. HELP!!! I am so terrified. LOL

xoxo Dinah @ Sunshine super glam

lori said...

Amennnn. I feel like its a personal choice, and unfortunately not every mother is able to nurse and it can be a really touchy thing. I plan on trying, but you never know! And people are soo rude, as if its their business if you are going to breast feed or not. I think it comes down to what you said, it's all about respect. And supporting each other.

Audra said...

AMEN AMEN AMEN! I am a nursing mama too and I wholeheartedly agree with your point of view. Nursing has it's pros and cons obviously, but I am pro nursing (it's free!)and also pro cover. Don't give nursing a bad rap by making it about the bb's and not the milk that they provide. You go girl!

K&R said...

well im not a mother yet, but i agree.
i think that it is important to be modest and respectful.
when you are in your home you can do what you want, just like anything else, but when you are in public you should be respectful of how it effects other. amen lady!

K

Nicole@mamashiptips said...

great post .. your so right I breast for 3 months and it was so hard the baby did not latch on all the time. he just did not like it. So I had to bump my milk then he liked it in a bottle. It was hard. Like you I respect all mama's whatever they like to do.. Your the mama of your baby and you know whats best from them .

Kim Matheson said...

Beautifully said. Absolutely beautifully said. Thank you for this post. :)

I'm in the middle of figuring breastfeeding out with my just-less-than-two-week-old son. It's been a struggle, but every day is a bit easier than the last. Nursing in public is absolutely a thing that needs to happen, without judgement. (I'm also a believer in covering up, in public.)

I support you. I support nursing mothers and I support formula feeding mothers. This disrespect madness absolutely needs to stop.

Amen.

Hilary @ Young Texan Mama said...

I love that you are so brave to post this! I breastfed my son in public only a handful of times, and I ALWAYS used a cover.

Nic @ Haus of Harnois said...

You have a beautiful baby! I feel like wipin' it out and feeding is a learned skill! I'm honestly still trying to get myself to the point where I am not afraid to feed without a cover because it does suck. I suppose I'm not brave enough yet. I wouldn't say I'm ashamed, but I haven't quite mastered it all, ya know? Thanks for this post, I love it!

DeAnna Stephens said...

I'm with Lindsey A. Everyone needs to stop judging.

Ashley said...

i was wondering if you were going to post this! glad you did :)

Kirsty and Seth said...

Great post. When I was breastfeeding I always covered up. I only breastfed for 2 months though as Caleb wouldn't feed anymore and it really wasn't a bonding thing for us, in fact the opposite at times! It was only when I started bottle feeding that I finally started to feel like we were bonding!

Andrea {kerubo mama} said...

Amen Amen AMEN x 1000!!! This was one of the first posts on breastfeeding that I 100% agree with. Thanks for putting your heart out there and being so real. Mad respect for you, woman :)

xo

Katy @ Ping and Pal said...

Amen sister

Megan said...

AMEN!!! I agree with all of this. There shouldn't be any shame in not wanting to or not being able to nurse. It's ridiculous people make such a big deal about it and make other mothers feel bad. I hate it so much. And I totally agree with you on nursing in public. If people want to nurse in public, that's fine. And if you are comfortable enough to not have a cover, that's fine. But definitely be respectful of others and realize that some people are not as comfortable with that. And that doesn't mean they are dumb or stupid! It's just a privacy thing. We can all be more respectful of each and our choices. It's ridiculous how much people are fighting over such a petty thing like you said. Amen amen! :)

Kimberly said...

It's so funny to me how passionate people get about breastfeeding! I've been a bottle feeding mom and a breastfeeding mom, so I see both sides. I am grateful that my daughte can see me nurse Axel every day so that her first knowledge of breasts is that they are for feeding babies. I always use a cover in public, but not in the mothers room at church. Is that offensive? I don't mind covering up, but if people are going to fight about modesty why start with the boobs that aren't meant to be sexual? Start with the skanky clothes moms let their 13 year olds wear these days :)

Kerry said...

Great post Courtney, you kept it real and I love that about a person :)
I agree with you on this and on the last few lines especially, that there are WAY bigger issues to worry about and stand up against together, breastfeeding or bottle feeding shouldn't be one of them!! Leave each to their own I say, it is not up to anyone else to judge what we think is best for our baby, just because it is different does not mean that it is wrong...so good on you for posting this. Either way, as long as baby is fed and loved and taken care of, who cares how the milk comes, right? Have a blessed day friend!!
Thanks for visiting my blog earlier this week too xo

Ech and Will said...

I always knew I'd breastfeed. There are too many benefits not to do it. But I didn't realize how strongly my husband felt about it until my sister decided against it. My husband went off on a frustrated rant that our baby would be breastfed. I was surprised, but happy that we were on the same page.

LEIGH said...

I didn't know how I'd feel about nursing in public.You really can't judge though until you are stuck in that situation. But when is the situation right? I've nursed a couple times at a restaurant. Should a mom really be exiled to her car during her anniversary celebration or a birthday party? It seems unfair. My breasts aren't even sexual right now. I mean, my husband isn't even allowed to touch them! To me it's like the nipple of the bottle or pacifier (sorry I don't know what it's really called.) I do cover with a blanket in public, and yes I had to practice a lot around my family. But I think that it's even less obvious that you are nursing if you were to not even have a blanket. The baby's head covers the important parts and the shirt falls down to cover the rest. Especially when you wear a slightly drapey shirt. The blanket just draws attention to what you are doing.
You are definitely right though. Nursing is hard. It is just now starting to get less painful. But I am still scabbed on one of my nipples. I never even thought of it as hard... It just seemed natural.

Annette said...

I agree that breastfeeding can be hard; I had a difficult time producing milk, and so my boy, for the first 14 months, was half breastfed and half formula fed. Having traveled to Europe, I don't feel uncomfortable at all when I see a child being nursed in public. To me, it's a beautiful thing...still, I'm not about to stare, and I certainly respect other people's viewpoints. Congrats to you for sticking it out... Ultimately, you're giving your baby so many health benefits (and your saving some money too)! I love these pics!

Marie said...

Love this. Nursing in public was nvr easy for me, and honesty I didn't enjoy it at all. I felt uncomfortable when ppl would stare, plus I was only 20 when I had my baby and that made everyone stare even harder. Nonetheless nursing him in a private room/area was a joy. :)

And I Agree that breastfeeding is much tougher than childbirth!

hayley jo said...

THANK YOU for posting this!! I have to bottle feed my baby because my milk never came in! It was so hard and frustrating and I felt so judged. So thank you for this!

Shaylynn... a girl, a story, a blog said...

EXCUSE ME. Do you know how many times you've nursed in front of me? do you? do you?

I kid.

I'm glad did this, now I didn't read all the comments, but It seems that no one is out for blood.

Maria said...

i loved this post and your honesty. it really annoys me when i see women get SUPER catty about breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. i will admit, i love breastfeeding and it was something i hoped would "work out" with piper and i, but i totally respect women who don't breastfeed. i have plenty of friends who don't and some who do. i wasn't breastfed and either was my brother. i don't look down on my mom because of it. i'm all for covering up in public (and so is steve haha). sometime, i nurse in the car and forget that people can see inside. steve just shakes his head again. :) this was such an awesome post. thanks for sharing! xoxox

Shelley said...

We struggled a lot with breastfeeding but once we got it mastered, I loved it! So did she :)

Post a Comment

i admit it. i LOVE hearing from you!