I've decided that I'm a creature of habit. I do love adventures, and to try new things.... for a week or so. Then I like to go back to my comfortable life and routine. I've learned that change terrifies me and stresses me out to no end (or so it seems).
Last week Eric received a job offer that will have us moving again. I was out of town working the whole week and it was incredibly stressful to try to make this huge decision together... over the phone. I have no desire to pick up my life and move to a small town (where we still have to deal with horrible, snowy winters) and leave all of my friends. I am the type of girl that needs friends in my life, and I've made the best friends I could have imagined up here. The thought of starting over just really scares me.
Then there are the stresses of cleaning, packing, finding a new place to live (over the internet since we are 3 hours away), moving, being separated, money, transferring schools, etc. We have to find someone to take over our lease because we are locked in until September, which is totally inconvenient. Oh, and did I mention that we have about 2 weeks, 3 tops to accomplish all of this?! I could go on and on, it's really easy for me to think of the negatives right now :)
But then I look at Eric and see how happy he is to finally receive the job offer he's been wanting/waiting for. He is so excited to move forward in his career and create a better future for our family. My SIL, Alycia, reminded me what a blessing it is that Eric has had so many job opportunities in the last year. We have certainly experienced having no opportunities... Another dear friend reminded me that I can do hard things. All of the sweet words of encouragement I've received made me realize that my fear of change kind of turned me into a selfish bitty this past week.
Yes, I'm scared. Yes, this is definitely happening way.too.fast. And yes, I know that this move is right for us. So it's time for me to stop being selfish and start supporting my husband, and show him that I am happy because of his happiness. I need to turn my negative way of thinking around and find the positive in this situation. I will just be praying hard for lots of comfort through this big change :)