Thursday, November 17, 2011

take a chill pill...

You know how it's easier to think down on ourselves and pick out everything that is wrong with us? I think it's too easy for women to belittle ourselves... mainly because of the insecurities the social media puts into our minds. Well, let me share something that I really love about myself. I feel like I'm a very happy, bubbly, outgoing girl! It's not very difficult for me to talk to strangers or make new friends. Acknowledging this gift I have with my personality is a great thing, because I believe that being more conscious of it, helps bring out those traits more boldly!
There is a part of my personality that I'm not proud of though. I don't feel like I'm belittling myself by admitting this... I'm hoping that by acknowledging this fault I have, I will be able to better it. I am a hot headed girl. Too hot headed at times, if you know what I mean?! If I don't like something I hear, my blood instantly boils and I tend to lash out. I don't cuss or call people bad names, but I don't use a nice tone of voice when I speak. I shut down and don't want to hear what needs to be said. The sad thing is, the people who see this side of me are the people I love most. Why is it so easy to be ornery to our loved ones?!
Lately, when Eric and I disagree we clash big time. Did my "hot head" rub off on him? Or has he always been this way,too? Am I just not bothering to control the instinct I have to lash out? What is wrong with me? I'm just really frustrated with myself lately. I want to be a pleasant girl all.the.time. I realize we all have our moments, but seriously? What happened to being level headed and reasonable? 

This is something that I'm really going to work on. Maybe I'll come up with a code word to share with family and when my blood starts boiling we'll call out the word, I'll walk off to cool down, and then be reasonable again. Haha. It's a start, right? I just really want to be a good person, even in my bad moments.

29 comments:

Amanda said...

I COMPLETELY understand this post, Courtney. I can totally relate to not liking what you hear and changing the way you act/feel, but I feel like that's instinct. Right?

Happy Thursday!

Pamela said...

Courtney, I love this post! I love how honest you are. I completely understand though!! Lately, I tend to get upset/mad easily, when I def shouldn't!! I do notttt like it one bit either! I pray about it, but I don't what's wrong with me, ha!

Lauren Anslee said...

This is totally normal! I get the same way. Sometimes I think it's good to walk away from the situation, breath for a minute so that you can think clearly. Sometimes Jed and I start arguing about things that have nothing to do with what we're arguing about! It's a good think to walk away from each other, calm down, and re-evaluate OR not bring it up again (unless it's an ongoing issue).

You Rock!

Jenna said...

I know what you mean! I always feel so bad that the people you love the most get the worst side of you sometimes. I have to remind myself to be the most patient with my loved ones.

Sean Marie said...

Oh boy, you sound like me. When I disagree I tend to be very stubborn and get really angry and tune people out! Our poor, loving hubbys. ;-)_

Karm said...

Oh gosh, I think you are amazing. I know what you mean, but I am the wimp that back outs and just doesn't try to be helpful about it. That's probably why I can't seem to be in a relationship because I don't know what "working on it" means ):
But seriously the code word sounds like a great idea.

m&msmommy said...

I could have written this post myself! I swear, after I became a mother to two, my patience level dropped to NON-EXISTENT! Don't get me wrong, I love my children, but I have become so hot headed and quick to lose my patience lately, and like you, that's TOTALLY not me! I'm so friendly, nice, kind, etc. and then I lose it with the ones I love the most! :( I'll work on it with ya girl! :)


Thank you for sharing this!

Laura said...

You are too cute. I wish when I heard something I didn't like I would speak up MORE!! Too often I empathize with them, so dumb when I don't agree.

monster cakes said...

I'm the same way. Having passion and zeal for life is a blessing and a curse because it swings both ways. I used to blame it on my "genetics" because my dad is the same way. I would tell my hubby and myself that it's just the way God made me. Then, I slowly but surely chose to believe that I can change. God works miracles for crying out loud, so surely He can control someone as hot headed as me! So I took it one day at a time, and I may not be perfect, but I am amazed at how much better I control myself. I think the first step was truly believing that God could change it and could give me the power to overcome it. Ya know?

Emma Frances said...

I feel like I lash out on the people I love the most too! And it's so frustrating! It's definitely a hard thing to work on too! Good luck! And wish me luck as well!! :)

Natalie Kay said...

I am the same way! I blame the red hair!! ;)

Tiffany said...

Aww, Courtney, we ALL have moments like that! It's great that you're acknowledging it and trying to change it!

C.Curley said...

Hey, Courtney. Thanks for being so honest and open. I'll be praying for you! Just remember the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. I think an extra dose of each of these might be just the thing to help you calm down. Not to say you aren't spiritual enough or anything...I think we could all use an extra dose for one reason or another! But maybe you should take a moment to pray or go away to think and cool down when you start to feel frustrated. OR there is a technique I use with my clients in counseling. Thought-stopping. When you start to feel those negative thoughts come up, literally stop them in their tracks! It takes practice. In the beginning you may find it helpful to actually say "stop!" out loud, or wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it when you start to feel angry. Just something to remind yourself that you're doing it again and you need to stop. Then try to actively replace those negative feelings with happy ones. It sounds too simple to work, but if you really commit to it, you may find it helpful. :) Also openly sharing your feelings with those you love so that they can help you and be more understanding when you do get that way. As the old saying says, admitting you have a problem is the first step! Being honest with people can help you not feel like you have to do it on your own.

Alexis Kaye said...

I can be like that too girl. And I hate it. Things pop into my head when we're fighting and I think, NO! Don't say that! it's mean! And then I do. But I think it takes a lot of time to work at. Like, let's be serious, we have a whole lifetime to work at becoming better and STILL, how many senior citizens have you met that are completely perfect :) Just keep pressing on lovely!

Holly said...

I definitely understand this post too. I think everyone is like this sometimes.

Brittany Lew Whoo said...

i feel your pain girl. i feel like i'm hot headed a lot of the time too, and it seriously helps just to let everyone in the situation know and take a breather! you can do it. :)

Sam {fitnessfoodandfaith.blogspot.com} said...

that's so hard. i feel like i'm normally a loving and patient person, but can lose both of these around my sweet husband who i love the most.

Lauren said...

You're SO honest! I love it! We always tend to take our anger out on the ones we love the most... I think it's because we know they'll love us no matter what and forgive our "bad behavior."

Praying always helps me! :)

Jamie - Snow In December said...

You're a woman, alright! ;0)

Seriously, I feel you. We all could use a bit more self control.

Legally Lovely said...

Oh, this happens to everyone! Some of us are just a little more feisty than others. As a silver lining, I think it's good to have a little backbone and get riled up, rather than having people walk over you all the time.
: )

Erin said...

I think as women...our emotional side of us can bring this out from time to time! You're such a sweet wife and your husband loves you regardless! Don't worry your pretty little head over it girlie!

Erin said...

I think as women...our emotional side of us can bring this out from time to time! You're such a sweet wife and your husband loves you regardless! Don't worry your pretty little head over it girlie!

P! said...

Oh, Courtney... this is SO ME, too. For some odd reason, the closer Scott and I have grown, the more and more I FREAK OUT on him. I definitely don't shut down, but I do the opposite: I say TOO MUCH to show I'm unhappy. Go too far and try and bring him down with me. It's something I've noticed getting worse for awhile now and this post is just what I need to motivate me to reel it in. I don't know why I've become like this, but it isn't fair to Scott, especially when he is ALWAYS so patient with me. LOVE this post!

Ashley Cody said...

I was sent here by "P!", I absolutely loved your post on her blog today! I am a new reader and can totally relate to this post. I think it is important that women look at the positive sides of themselves rather than being so hard all the time. The media definitely help but when you have a great support system it makes so much easier. Thanks for sharing!

Ashley
www.beautifullifealc.blogspot.com

kyna... said...

Ah, I love the honesty in this post. My hubby is a bit of a hot head, so I can understand a little bit. You are a wonderful person Courtney! :-)
♥ Kyna

Liesl said...

This is such a great post and I love how you picked out things you love about you...you are right it is sometimes easier for us to get down about things or ourselves, so, good for you! I happen to LOVE that you are a happy, bubbly person...I like to be the same way it is so refreshing to be around people like that! I think you and I are a lot alike! :)

That said, I think it is also wonderful that you are able to acknowledge things about yourself that you might not like as much, we all have those things, and we can all improve in different ways, which we learn as we grow through in life and evolve! I think a code word sounds perfect and they everyone can be a bit more aware too, which should help.

I know you are a good person and know Eric knows this too...we all have our bad days and not so lovely traits, but it is what makes you who you are and I'm sure they don't overshadow all the wonderful, beautiful things about you!

Liesl :)

natasha {schue love} said...

There is a lot to be said for recognizing those traits you want to improve in yourself! You've already taken a huge step by being open about it. You can only build from here! :)

Deveny said...

I used to be the same way when I was first married. My husband and I are VERY competitive and I also blame b.c. pills. haha
But over the next few years I actually just changed my attitude because I HATE confrontations. I actually became a peacemaker (which I never was growing up) and am now the level-headed/calm one. It hurt my ego a little to be the one always saying 'sorry' first (even if I didn't do anything wrong) but the peace we have in our home is more than worth it.
You can do it!

Megan said...

Oh my gosh, I became this exact same way when I was taking birth control!! I was majorly over sensitive and basically pretty crazy!! I came off the pill and things have been a lot better!

I still have a temper, but now I've just tried to realize that I have to treat Justin with respect at all times because I have to deal with him for the rest of my life! Haha!!

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