Thursday, February 24, 2011

we love the MacPherson's. bitter/sweet and worth remembering.

Today's post is in memory of one of our best friends.  One year ago today I experienced the most tragic, heart break in all of my life.  Ryan MacPherson was my best friend for a time during high school.  Every memory I have of him is such a good memory!  After high school we drifted apart, naturally, but came together again after we had both gone through some major changes.  He got married, I got married, then he and his wife had a baby. 
We reconnected again and Ryan and Eric got along instantly and his wife, Ashley and I clicked just as fast!  Of course their sweet baby had us wrapped around her fingers!  I remember Eric telling me once, "I want a Lily..."  I told him no :)  We hungout multiple times a week and always had the best time!  We didn't have enough time... 
I have looked at this picture SO many times and am just now seeing those bunny ears Ryan pulled on me!  Seriously!  Payback someday...
February 24, 2010 Ryan passed away.  The main thing I remember feeling then was heart break, helplessness, and confusion.  I've never experienced death up until this point and nothing can prepare you for how much it hurts.  I felt so helpless because I wanted to comfort Ashley, to take it all away.  It was so heart breaking to watch her go through this.  And I was so confused.  Why did it have to be Ryan's time to return to our Heavenly Father?!  He still had a long life to live with the best wife and sweetest baby girl.  My faith had never been tested this way before.  I really struggled with this.  After the longest battle faith finally won.  I believe God has a plan that we just won't understand fully until the next life.  God is not cruel.  He loves us so much, and He gives comfort when we ask/need it.  .  I do know that Ryan is with our Heavenly Father and that he is happy.  I know he is watching over Ash and Lily!  And most importantly, I know that we will see Ryan again and that Ashley and Lily will get to be with him forever!
Ryan we miss you so much!  But I thank you for making our lives happier, for all the wonderful memories, and for bringing your amazing wife and sweet baby into our lives!  Ashley is one of my very best friends and Lily still has us wrapped around her fingers, naturally!  Can't wait to see you again!
Ash and I... sexy bestie's ;) hahaha that was just for you Ash! 

We love Lily so  much! :)
Ashley I look up to you so much!  You are by far one of the strongest women I know!!  You are such an amazing example to me!  You are gorgeous (yes I'm always jealous of your hair), so positive all the time, and the best mommy!  I'm so glad your my  bestie and I love you so much! :)


30 comments:

Sam {fitnessfoodandfaith.blogspot.com} said...

awww, this is so hearbreaking. situations like this just suck and are really hard to understand, even when you have faith that there is a greater purpose. praying you and his family feel comfort today!

m&msmommy said...

Wow, what a heartbreaking story. I can't even imagine losing my husband/father of my children at such a young age. I'm so glad that Lily and Ashley have you and your husband! :) And I agree...sometimes heartache, especially of this magnitude does NOT make sense, but it all will, one day, in Heaven! :)

Randi Gardner said...

ugh.

Tiffany said...

Aww, this made me tear up. It's so sad when a child loses a parent and a wife, her husband. I have the utmost respect and admiration for you and your friend who have gone through such heartbreak and have still held on to your faith.

Esra said...

This is so sad. I'm so sorry for your loss and admire you all for your strength. I'm yet to experience this kind of loss, but I'm told that if it doesn't break your faith - it will make a hundred times stronger.

Amy said...

Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing your sweet thoughts.

Gertrude said...

This is so heartbreaking! Can't imagine or by any means understand what it feels like. So sad, at least you have a lot of beautiful memories together! x

Mercedes said...

heartbreaking.

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

Wow, this is just the saddest story. I applaud you for being so so brave. I can't imagine what you all went through.

Brittany said...

Your blog is so sweet. As is this post. Today marks the 3 year anniversary of the death of my best friend too. I will be posting about it later today. I know how this day must feel. Keep your head up and remember they are always around us :)

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

What a great testament to a good little family.

Wasn't it cool how God allowed you to reconnect? How you got such good memories out of it? And how his wife and child have good friends to help take care of them?

Megan said...

What a heartbreaking loss! Such a sweet post...it is obvious how loved he was!

danielle @ take heart said...

such a heartbreaking story but so sweet to remember his life!

Beth said...

That's so sad! My heart goes out to your friend, I can't imagine losing my husband! Thanks for your sweet comment on my blog! Your blog is so cute and you and your hubby are adorable. :)

A Northern Girl With A Southern Heart said...

this is def heartbreaking. thank you for the sweet comment on my blog; i enjoy reading yours as well.

tifsong said...

great thoughts court.
i don't really know what else to say.
but i can only imagine the strength you have been to ashley this past year. you're an amazing friend, and i'm sure she recognizes your greatness.

tif

Alycia (Crowley Party) said...

such a sweet post :)

AmyLee said...

wow, what a sad story :( i always struggle when i hear stuff like this, too. but i agree, it can help us become stronger & draw closer to Heavenly Father!
sweet post :)

Megs said...

this is such a sad story but you told it so beautifully! thank you for sharing something so close to you.

and thank you so much for your comments on my blog! they are really helpful and I hope to feature it in a post on the Stronger Marriage Blog. I really appreciated it and you had a lot of good things to say :)

I'm definitely a follower now :)

Melissa: Write it in Lipstick said...

what a beautiful post. Loss is hard but we have to understand the lords plan. Ashley is blessed to have someone like you in her life.


Write it in lipstick

Dina @ 4 Lettre Words said...

Such a sweet post about wonderful memories. Loved seeing the photos!

Renée said...

This is such a sad story but at the same time so beautiful how you speak about him and your friendship.

kaitlin johnston said...

hi ! thanks for stopping by my blog .. i just noticed ur comment :) sorry to hear about your loss .. but what a great way to remember him :) have a great day and i look forward to connecting with you !

Claire said...

Aw nice post. It's hard losing someone young. x

Melissa: Write it in Lipstick said...

I just wanted to make sure we are still friends. hehe. I am so sorry again hon. I have no idea why I wrote Rebecca?

Mandi said...

Wow! What a heart-breaking story. I didn't even know him or his sweet wife and baby. But wow I seriously started bawling when I read this story. Tragedies like this really make you think about life. Sorry for your loss. :)

LesleyRH said...

I left you a little something on my blog...go pick it up:)

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

My thoughts are with you, Ash and Lily. It truly is a beautiful thing to know good friends and have them in our lives and I know Lily will love growing up with you too!

denise ❤ said...

what a beautiful, touching post. You write so beautifully and "from the heart". I'm sorry about your best friend, the photos are beautiful and just show how happy you all 4 were. :)) But it's so nice that you said thank you to him for bringing all that joy into you life. Such people are rare to come by and you are very lucky indeed to have had him as a friend.

beautiful post! it really honored your friend. :)

angie on maui said...

Hi Courtney,

Thank you for this beautiful, honest and heartbreaking post. I'm so sorry for you, for Ashley, for Lily...everyone. It is never easy to lose someone you love - or to see loved ones endure the pain of loss - but dedicating a post to Ryan and sharing his story with the blog-world is such a wonderful way to honor him. I believe in my heart that you'll all meet again.

I originally came here to thank you for your sweet comment over on my blog and to let you know that I am now following you, too...but I'm so caught up in this post about Ryan. Many hugs to you and your friend. xoxo.