It's no secret that since moving to Arizona Eric has worked his little hiney off, and we haven't seen much of him. Since moving to Arizona, I also no longer work. I used to work one day a week at the salon while my parents watched Mia and it was the perfect set up! It got us out of the house, I got to enjoy some adult time/my creative outlet/a break, Mia was spoiled rotten by her grandparents and had the chance to miss me. It was the perfect balance for us all and Mia never really favored either parent when we all were together.
Well, since moving to Arizona Mia has turned into a stage 5 clinger when it comes to daddy. I totally get where she is coming from because she is stuck with me from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes down for the night, and she was lucky if she got to rock and read a story with daddy before bed. At first I totally loved the clinginess because she wanted Eric to do everything for her, not me, so I finally got a break on his one day off each week. But some thing's changed in the last couple of weeks and it's totally hurting my feelings to watch Mia freak out if Eric leaves her in the room with me for even one second. We have been seeing a lot more of Eric these days (hallelujah!) and it's painfully obvious that Mia could care less about me... at least that's the way it seemed. Blame it on hormones, blame it on the lack of "me" time, blame it on the big changes we've been experiencing these past couple of months... I don't know what to blame it on but I went a little cray one night and shouted at Mia that she was hurting my feelings. I was on her side for crying out loud! I did every little thing for her and she instantly forgot that the second daddy walked in the door. Sweet Mia grabbed my face, gave me a smile and told me "luh yoooooou!" and gave me a hug. That's when I knew I was losing my freakin' mind and it was time for a break!
Thursday night I finally got my first real break since our move two months ago. That may not seem like a long time to many, but when (Mia and) I were used to the weekly breaks, this was definitely long overdue. I attended a church activity celebrating the Relief Society and it was so uplifting for me! It was just the spiritual enlightenment I'd been craving! Then a new friend and I ran to Target where we shopped until they basically kicked us out :) It was such a good night full of yummy food, girl time, etc. Later, Mia woke me up at 3am with the most pitiful cries and a fever of 103. I gave her some medicine and rocked her for a long time as she asked me to sing song after song, until she fell asleep in my arms. I don't even know how to explain how good I felt rocking my sick, sleeping babe and the feeling of content I felt in my heart. Being her mom is the greatest blessing I could ever ask for, and while we are a little overly obsessed with Eric in this house, Mia still needs me :) I felt so rejuvenated after my short time away from home and I swear I'm a whole lot less crazy now, ha ha!
I never realized how important "me" time really is for my sanity, and the sanity of my whole family before now. So in an effort to ditch the crazy side of me that obviously exists (please tell me I'm not the only one?!) I will definitely be making more of an effort to break away from the people I love most for those little moments of selfish me time... because in the end, it's really not selfish at all when I return to the people who love (and now miss) me most, feeling happier than ever to give them all that I've got!