Thursday, May 22, 2014

my two cents

A throwback to Mia at 6 months because this is one of my all time favorites!
Let me start this post with a little reminder- we all have our personal struggles. One can't compare to another because we neither know the whole story or understand the situation. With that being said... I must admit that I don't suffer from mommy guilt, and I know what a blessing that is! Especially as I find myself suffering from mild depression brought on from the hormone changes in my body due to stopping nursing. Proof that we all have our own personal struggles, but that is another story for different time.
I feel like the bar is set so high for mothers thanks to social media... too high if you ask me! Before blogs, instagram and pinterest we had no one to compare ourselves to other than our friends and family. Life would be so much easier if we didn't compare at all, but lets be real, we all do it. But how do we compete with the whole world of amazing, creative, crafty, healthy, smart mommas? Corners of the Internet that can be so inspiring and supportive can also be our downfall. Motherhood needs to be brought back to the basics. Love and nurture your kids to the best of your abilities! Teach them in the ways that you know how. Let your children learn by your example. Trust your instincts!
Despite how foreign being a mother can feel at times, you were made for this role! When you catch yourself feeling guilty because you can't throw a lavish party like you see on pinterest, just don't. Five years ago you wouldn't have even known parties like that existed, and luckily for you, your kid still doesn't. Or when you feel like a failure because you've never once said night time prayers with your 17 month old and you find out your friend's 17 month old folds her arms to pray before being put down, just don't. You can start a new routine adding bed time prayers because you were inspired with the idea from your friend, just like she has been inspired to brush her child's teeth twice a day when you told her it's in your daily routine!  Or when you feel like a bad mom for sitting your kid in front of the TV so that you can finish homework, work, making dinner, etc, just don't. Hello? Your kid is loving the opportunity to watch a show and you are teaching responsibility by missing out on the fun to finish whatever project you are working on. Or when you feel like a slob because the house is a mess and your baby is still in pj's (let's not even talk about the condition of your hair or your yoga pants), just don't. We all have our good days and our bad days and every other mother understands it. You have no one to impress but yourself. If loving your children is enough for them, it should be enough for you. If loving Mia is what makes her world go 'round, then it should be enough for me!
Mommy guilt is a nasty battle that most have to fight day in and day out... but when I truly stop and realize just what Mia needs from me... I realize that I am good enough. It's natural to have my bad days, my rotten moments and my pity parties, but I refuse to feel guilty for that because I am human! Maybe if I had spent more time teaching Mia sign language, she could tell you that I'm one of her favorite humans in the world (I'd like to think that I make the top 2 in that category) ;) And that's good enough for me to let go of all the ridiculous expectations I have and let the guilt melt away! I am a good mom and it's okay to believe in myself!

From Here to EternityWords About Waverly
my delicious adventure Photobucket
My Delicious Adventure                  The Life Of Faith
Running From The LawThe Olive Tree
Running From The Law             The Olive Tree          

May 8:          Taming the Temper Tantrums
May 15:        Weaning from Breastfeeding or From Formula to Cow’s Milk 
May 22:        Dealing with Mommy Guilt
May 29:        When People Share Their Opinions and How to Lovingly Handle it
June 5:         Traveling with your Toddler
June 12:       How to get your toddler to eat their veggies…or their food at all
June 19:       How to make time to blog in the busyness of motherhood
June 26:       Bedtime Battles (nap or bedtime)
Come link up with us every Thursday!

34 comments:

Lauren Talon said...

I love this post Courtney! I'm 20 weeks pregnant now and I have already found myself comparing to other moms and moms-to-be. Never mind comparing things like weight gain and maternity clothes but even when looking at baby products it's so hard not to compare what stroller someone else was able to afford or what cute nursery someone else has been able to set up. In the end, all that matters is a happy, healthy baby but that's definitely something you need to remind yourself of as it is much too easy to get caught up in things that don't matter. I'm so glad I found this link up as well. I will definitely be checking out some of these posts today :)

Lauren
http://thelifeconcerningus.blogspot.ca

Danielle said...

WELL SAID! I am the world's worst comparer. It's been a constant struggle, but the one place I can honestly say I don't feel guilty/crappy is with Milo. Yes, all the instagram moms are prettier than me and craftier than me and I can't bake to save my life, but I get my Milo! All to myself! And nobody else has one! Now I just need to get the rest of my comparisons under control.

hello erin said...

SO well said. and its totally true. comparing ourselves to others just brings on the guilt and self doubt. when in reality your kids ADORE you no matter what. I'm pretty sure i'm the apple of lex's eye-- even if she shows it by being clingy and whiny. its all outta love :)

Mandie said...

Excellent post, girlie. We can only do so much & every situation is different. At the end of the day, a person can only do what is best for their little one/s. It's a learning process for everyone. Like I've told my oldest, her & I are both learning together - she's never been a teen before & I've never been a mom to a teen before. So, we just have to what we feel is right & sometimes it'll backfire & sometimes it'll be the best dang thing. We're all still in class. :)

Lauren Tamm said...

As mothers, we can all take away some important points from this great post. We are all doing the best we can in the best way we know how. Good enough is good enough and mommy guilty somehow leads us to believe we are less than we truly are. Thank you for sharing!

Kristen said...

It is so hard not to compare ourselves to all the other mom's out there who seem to have it all together. The reality of it is, though, they really don't have it all together. Social media can be SO misleading. I'm so happy you wrote this post because I needed to read it! Comparing myself and then consequently beating myself up because "I'm not a great mom" is one of my greatest struggles. Here's to learning to embrace our own strengths AND weakness and learning to just be happy for other mom's who rock at something I'm not so good at - ahem, ahem, party decorations =)

You are SUCH a good mom to that sweet little Mia. She is a lucky little girl to have you. And PS I feel horrible! I had NO intentions of hurting anyone's feelings or making anyone feel like less of a mom when I posted that picture on Instagram =(

Ashley said...

LOVE this. It's so true. Blogs and Pinterest have really put the pressure on Mom's and made them feel inadequate. Not fair!

Karra said...

This was so good Courtney!! Our babies love us no matter what! I often feel so guilty for putting on Frozen so I can do school work, but its the only way I can get anything done. & Rae LOVES it so I make it a no more than once a day treat :)

P!nky said...

What a great post! You know your family and your baby best :)!

~Dawn~ said...

Yes..yes. and YES!! Just be YOU!

Sara {Rhapsody and Chaos} said...

This is a seriously beautiful post. SUCH a great outlook, that I hope I'm able to (slowly, if nothing else) adapt for myself. Mama guilt rages deep in this one.

Ashley Hunt said...

AMEN to that! ps... we need to get together soon! Chan misses her bestie... and I miss mine!

Elizabeth {Chasin' Mason} said...

This was such a good reminder! Thank you! I linked up today to talk about mommy guilt because I do have it. But your words are a great reminder that I shouldn't. Or at least I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Mason is happy, healthy, and loves me. He shows me he does when he runs to me and gives me a huge hug and kiss when I get home from work. And if that's not enough to make you feel like an amazing mom, I don't know what is. xo

Allyssa Idell said...

Such a good post and so very true! I'm not a momma yet, but I'm definitely learning from all these amazing momma's here in the blog world!

Erin LFF said...

You are an AMAZING mom :) Just know that! And know that while I don't have kids yet, I so look up to you as a mom because I think you rock at it!

Katie said...

You are an awesome mom!! Mia loves you and it shows and really that is the only thing that matters. She is a happy little girl that loves life. I honestly can't tell you the last time I was on Pinterest. While planning our wedding that site made me feel like a failure. And when you said that kids don't know about the amazing parties on pinterest that we aren't throwing them that is SO true!!!

Ashley @ Words About Waverly said...

Great post, so inspiring! :) You are a great mama! XO

Hannah said...

oh, love this post! You worded it all so perfectly. You are the best mama and Mia is so blessed to have you!

Sara McCarty said...

Such a great post! Social media definitely adds to the overwhelming feeling of not living up to expectations, but as long as our kids are happy and healthy and loved, that should always be enough. So well said.

KelseyB said...

Great post! I don't think I have a problem with comparing myself to other moms, I know I do things totally different. I just get inside my own head and think, I should have let that go today, or I am frustrated with this or that. I didn't really experience too much "mommy guilt" until I had my second. Then I just felt like I had to manage my attention more. Thank you for sharing your story though. This mom thing is a tough gig ;)

17 Perth said...

These posts are coming in just absolutely the most perfect day. This was needed. *needed*!!! Thank u!

Kimberly said...

Weaning definitely brought back my post partum issues again. Only for a week or two, but it was rough.

Sarah said...

Totally agree! People comparing themselves to those people who do party planning for a living, or have the extra time to spend 60+ hours making crafts for their kids parties!

I didn't have mommy guilt until maybe a couple of weeks ago? When my son was having meltdowns because I wanted to go to the gym and he hates the gym daycare...we have almost solved that issue, phew. But up until then I didn't really know what people were talking about.

Hopefully everyone can stop comparing and just see how great our kids are!

Laura Joyce Leavitt said...

This was perfect Courtney! Really comparing gets the best of me sometimes and i would much rather stick to comparing kids with friends and family ;)

Schnelle said...

Such a great post and so well said too!

Brittany Papke said...

So glad to have read this today! Sometimes we all just need reminders!! Being a mama is awesome and no one can do your job better than you!

Stacy G said...

Love your post and that is the sweetest pic of MIA! You are an awesome mom and I think you divide your time really well! XO

Christina Schergen said...

love this! " comparison is the thief of joy." I wish more mamas would banned together and not break each other down.

Lauren said...

great post! I have decided that social media/Internet is such a double-edged sword and I've had to learn to use it for inspiration instead of allowing it to define who I think "I'm not" as a mother.

lori said...

Aw I just saw your series!! (So behind on blogs these days)! But I love, love, love it!! Mommy guilt is the worst and thankfully our babies love us through all of our bad days!! Great post, girl. You're an awesome mama and Mia is a lucky little lady. Hope those hormones sort themselves out for you soon, they can be a real pain in the behind! ;)

A Thousand Words said...

I love love love this!

Kirsty and Seth said...

I love this post so much! Once I stopped comparing myself to every other mother that I knew I feel like I relaxed a whole lot more and could just focus on being a good mother for Caleb. Plus I think that as women we so often compare our worst to everyone else's best when the truth is, we're all just trying every day to be the best we can be, some days are just a little easier than others!

kirstyandseth.blogspot.co.uk

Tawnya Faust said...

I just found your blog through the link up :) I feel the same way about mommy guilt, although it definitely sneaks in all the freaking time! Loving our little ones really is enough though, isn't it?! :) GREAT post! You found your newest follower!

Tawnya @ www.littlebabyscarlett.blogspot.com

Shaunacey Bonneville said...

too funny, I've been thinking about writing a post about this! wish I had found your linkup sooner!
I've added you to my reading list now though, so you're officially stuck with me!

Sidenote: Your daughter is freaking adorable!

Post a Comment

i admit it. i LOVE hearing from you!