Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.

I had a horrible dream last night.  So scary.  I dreamed my hubby was shot and killed!  Like murdered!  (We watched Batman and turned if off to go to bed right as the parents were shot..that's probably where this dream came from.)  You know how you can't usually remember what you dreamed?  Well I remember this one so clearly.  I remember exactly how I felt when I knew Eric was dead. (Funny how I can't describe to you how I found out but in the dream you just know it..you know?)  There are no words to describe how horrific it was.  That's where my title comes into play.  Exquisite horror of my reality.  This would be the worst thing ever to experience.  One of my bestie's lost her husband not even a year ago and I have witnessed the horror's she's been through to be able to start healing and the pain she's suffered.  I think I felt a fraction of what she's been through last night. (I love you Ash and look up to you so much!)  I think the dream became too much for my mind to handle because all of a sudden I was awake.  I was wide awake and yet it still felt so real.  I lost my Eric.  And then the crying began.  I snuggled up to Eric and even though he was very much alive, the feeling of horror, pain, despair, rage, and helplessness just took over.  I don't even want to feel how sad my life would be without Eric in it ever again!  I promise to try my very hardest to love Eric the most I can everyday and to never take him for granted. 

What I love about my Eric

• He loves me no matter what.  Always and forever.
• He's one of the hardest workers I know!
• When he's working out (with his iPod in) or in the shower he randomly starts singing...LOUDLY :)
• He smells SO yummy.
• His laugh is the best sound in the world...especially when he REALLY gets laughing!
• He's the best kisser ever.
• When he winks at me I melt a little inside :)
• When he's singing in the shower... it's usually a song he makes up about me in spanish. (I'd like to think it's all good things about me ha)
• He makes me want to be a better me every single day!
• He is my very best friend.

Love this picture!

See?  We're definitely better together!


My husband has made me laugh.  Wiped my tears.  Hugged me tight.  Watched me succeed.  Seen me fail.  Cheered me on.  Kept me going strong.  My husband is a gift from God that I will have a friend forever.  I love my Eric.